Concerning problems with sex

VisiblePlan · 2019-12-02T09:15:32+00:00

Your dick probably just doesn't like the dehumanizing feel of the rubbers my friend. Lucky for you, the modern man has created a witch's brew of drugs and supplements that will allow your dong to stay harder than a cinder block.

frognads · 2019-12-02T09:22:15+00:00

Stop jerking off entirely, I know you said you only watch porn once a week but you didn't mention masturbating on its own. Also look into supplimenting Zinc.

Hit her up again and just try to relax this time. If the same thing happens just go back to foreplay, kissing & fingering her until you get back into the mood and try again.

It's cool bro, you're young and fairly new to the game so just treat it as a learning experience and remember you will get better with time and experience.

Unerted · 2019-12-02T12:40:39+00:00

Try to masturbate with a condom on, it should help ur dick get used to the awful plastic sorrounding it

LethalShade · 2019-12-02T16:05:07+00:00

I've had it happen before multiple times, it's no big deal. If you're not used to condoms, just try one on a few times while rubbing one off, you'll get used to the feeling.

If your girl gives you shit for it, soft next. Guaranteed its happened to the most alpha guys you can think of.

vandaalen · 2019-12-02T09:43:20+00:00

go to r.testosterone and read the wiki. get your blood tested exactly as stated there then post results to the sub.

also dont beat yourself up over it. shit like this happens. just tell her to suck it hard again and put the condom over herself next time.

W_O_M_B_A_T · 2019-12-02T23:00:19+00:00

while we were tryna fall asleep, she told me she had never slept with anyone of which I was truly shocked,

Who knows whether or not that's true... Does it really matter?

because she seemed like she knew what she was doing.

Blowjobs don't count....lol

Fast forward to yesterday, she invited me to her house ( literally out of nowhere, she lives out of town and inviting someone there is rare), and although her parents would be there I went, met them, they were cool and all, and here comes the boo. Although she was still nervous, I was alot more insistent 'bout stuff and after an hour we were all naked n horny. I grabbed the condom and as I put it my dick went so fucking soft I wasn't even sure if it was still there.

I think you didn't like the fact that her parents were around, sounds like.

Note that it's 100% normal to have a hard time getting aroused when you don't feel comfortable with a situation.

Don't overthink it too much.

I tried to laugh it off and didn't apologize a million times to not look like the fucking pussy I am,

You're the prize here. Your time, attention, leadership, and sexuality is valuable. You don't need to thriw it at people who aren't doing things to earn it, just to avoid being rejected or criticized.

Never criticize or question your own sexuality. The little man in your pants knows what's really going on. Pay more attention to him.

The only people who actually enjoy seeing you demean yourself are people who are so far beneath you mentally that they can only hope to drag you down into the mud for shits and giggles. (See: Crabs-in-a-bucket mentality.) These aren't people whose respect and acceptance will ever benefit you. The only thing that matters to the crabs in the bucket are fear and envy.

It's OK to make mistakes. It's OK to feel weak, ignorant, nervous/afraid, frustrated, ashamed, or vulnerable sometimes.

It's not helping anyone to respond to this by quickly insulting and heckling yourself before anyone else can do it. Even inside your in head. Just don't.

Iron Rule of Thomassi #8. Never Self-Deprecate Under any Circumstances.

but I was feeling really bad and didn't quite know what to do.

Chill out and try shagging in the backseat of the car next time, maybe.

Don't let small obstacles stop your sexual power. Try again.

She wasn't happy as well, it was as obvious as it gets.

Meh. Who cares? What's she going to do, bleed on you next time? Force you to get a boner?

She can be as unhappy if she wants. She'll be OK.

The thing is, that's happened with my previous friend as well and it sucks ass, it's either that I can't get my dick hard after I put the condom or I end in 0,5 seconds, how the fuck do I fix that,

Fix your frame. Get her to perform for you to earn your approval, never the other way around.

You still see yourself as a "pussy", incompetent, and undeserving, somehow.

Part of you still thinks shagging is "naughty" and there will be terrible consequences if someone, somehow finds out that you did it.

In my opinion this boils down to Envy of other people.

"Other people are doing it. The reason I'm not fucking, is I'm more of a pussy than them and they're more worthy and important than I am and I'm not supposed to be balling. So they get the Lion's share and I'm supposed to beg for scraps. How dare I try to reach for more!"

Here's what I do from previous suggestions

-As much as I wish to say that I don't, I still watch porn but no more than once a week

Might want to cut back. Probably not helping you have realistic expectations of how sex actually goes down. Probably not helping your frame either.

Porn by it's nature caters to men with negative self-esteem and intimacy anxieties.

This is one reason why most of the contextual and emotional information tends to be removed. The context is, the guys watching it think they're unworthy, incompetent, and think sex is dangerous

Not the best way to strengthen your frame.

Imagine having a girl to fuck and not being able to do it, It's fucking pathetic

Not really. Saved your ancestors from being beat up by the other tribe members countless times in the past. That's why the fear exists.

The real problem is you see yourself as pathetic and helpless.

rizzyfromthe9 · 2019-12-02T13:38:25+00:00

You should have told her to such your dick to get you back in action

power_cleaner · 2019-12-02T09:36:05+00:00

You definitely masturbate more than once a day

Altin_Beg · 2019-12-02T09:36:37+00:00

Try a vegan diet, studies show vegans get harder and longer boners, I certainly noticed it when I switched

Title	Concerning problems with sex
Author	InfectedDonor
Upvotes	3
Comments	24
Date	December 2, 2019 8:54 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/e4wdxk/concerning_problems_with_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/concerning-problems-with-sex.297465 https://theredarchive.com/post/297465

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