TLDR: how do you get from date 1 to date 2? Are you specifc with the next date or casual? Do you wait a few days or text her the next day? Had a recent date, went well, and have gotten radio silence when I tried to move to logistics.

A quick google search has plenty of previous posts talking about this but still can't figure out wtf I'm doing wrong. I've had maybe 15-20 or so first dates since beginning of the year and I've gotten three second dates, one girl was lower SMW so I might remember her being desperate enough to quickly pull trigger for second date.

I've also had 4-5 dates in the past month or two and I've done soft nexts on almost all of them because my standards have gone up, which I'm taking a postive sign that I have the confidence that I don't have to play around with less than 5's. Still, the ones I didn't followup on gave me the too busy to hang out or ghosted.

For context, 90% were from tinder. I've been trying to make that number go down lately, but regardless, been running into the same problem.

I'm a pretty solid first date if I had to be objective, although there are of course plenty of blind spots. I kino, I switch venues, and usually try to find live music towards the end of the night. Most of the time I'll get makeouts and a reasonable amount of time we'll bang. No matter how many IOIs or mentions of wanting to see me again, majority of the time I get ghosting or flaking the next time I text them, or to lead up to logistics for a day 2.

Since there has been a variety of scenarios, I'll use this most recent one as an example:

Was messaging briefly with this tinder girl. I was escalating but then she came back short with a response. She updated her profile seeing if anyone wanted to go to a big show with her. Instead of continuing the now deadened convo, I switched and poked her about what the deal was with the concert. I ended up finding cheap tix and was down for my own self-amusement because I dug the bands.

We hit it off really well and talked throughout most the night. She was giving me a lot of IOIs and tons of kino the chest, back, stomach etc as the night went out. Anyone would've guess we were a couple by how touchy she was. I went in for a makeout when she did this later on but she slyly shrugged it off.

She drove that night. She asked if I was okay to drive home (I parked at her place) and I said no because I had one or too many sodas. Also, it wasn't a bad way to get her to my place.

We get back, we have drinks and play with the dog for a bit out back. She's opening up. I get her to come up to my room, but she had LMR and said I'm not getting in bed with you. I said there's a comfy chair you can sit on. We talk more and eventually she starts passing out, and I get her in bed. I had a long work day and didn't get much sleep the previous night because was with a fuck buddy, so with those drinks, I knocked out as soon as I hit the pillow. I'm sure I could've escalated if I didn't pass out, either way kicking myself for not having enough control to be able to do so.

She texted me the next morning (she apparently left around 4 because she freaked out and wanted to get back to the dogs she was watching).

Her: "Are you doing OK? I think your car is outside".

This is likely because I was getting pretty loose from the beers by the end of the night and just an icebreaker obviously from her. Had a couple back and forths, she complained about having a headache twice, which was a red flag needing an orbiter or a shit test to see if beta and cared. Told her she should find a doc that euthanizes so I can't stop hearing about it.

She then shit tested me saying

Her: "What did Michelle's message say? You may need to be put down to"

This is in reference to within a minute of me getting in her car, I accidentally called a girl, who was someone who I just her number previous weekend. My phone was on the middle section between our seats and she saw the name and I had to explain. Weird, but it got her hamster spinning because she mentioned it twice later that night, who she was yadda yadda.

Me: "she said she wants to have twelve of my kids".

Michelle is a post wall woman, but pretty good looking considering - I'm not trying to do anything with her in reality except for a quick fuck. The girl doesn't respond after four hours. I had a resonable question about her leaving my place because you need a key to leave security doors, and my roommate (the homeowner) was wondering how she left and is anal about security.

So I lost frame a bit but was using it more to transition into question

Me: "it was more like a thumbs up if you rly care. More importantly how'd you get out house last night? Take my keys or doggie door?"

Her: who would her other four be from?

Her: I left our the front door? Did you lose your keys?

Me: Probably from her third or fourth ex husband

Me: (blah blah roomate anal with secuirty, your story is you went out the dog door)

Her: No the door was locked, sorry I left it unlocked :(

Me: How could you

Me: No you couldn't have gotten out if black security door was locked so all good.

Five minutes later, I felt continuing on would've been unnecessary and weird so quickly switched convo to hopefully lead into logistics. This was also almost two hours after her last text since I was at jiu jitsu.

Me: How's your weekend shaping up? Did you figure out if you're going to (some music festival in the city we were talking about)

And crickets. Texted earlier in the night so its not like she passed out or something. Yes, she could be busy and more than likely given who she is, banging another guy who didn't pass out like me. Given my recent history of flakes and ghosting coupled with sometimes bad text game, I know I'm likely gonna get a no response. She also had been responding very quickly.

This last text of mine could've been bad because it didn't offer any value, lame if just a convo starter or I get a feeling if you ask girls what they are doing over the weekend, they'll assume you have no plans and are a loser.

So, at the time being, where'd I fuck up. And generally, how do you lead up to a second date? I've been direct, casual and everything in between. I've waited a couple days, I've texted the next morning. It doesn't seem to matter. I can't seem to figure out the right way to get from date one to date two. I'm a bit AFC right now because I haven't gotten a new plate in a while and getting bored with my current one.