Without going into too much detail...

Married with 3 kids. Financially secure. In love with coworker who is in an LTR with no kids. This has developed over the past 6-12 months. She feels the same.

Was prepared to lose it all for her the other week and told coworker this. She rejected me because she doesn't want marriage/kids with someone who has already been down that road. I completely get that she wouldn't want to be a step-mum. She's still young (28). But she's not happy with her own relationship either and this has brought her to the brink.

Since the rejection, I cooled contact and she has reacted in the way that TRP taught me she would - she's come back to me with a vengeance. She misses me and told me if circumstances were different, her answer would have been different. She wants to start going for secret lunches again etc.

You will have to take my word for this but she's acting like she wants me to man the fuck up and make another move on her. She even said that the other week's chat 'hit her like a truck' and she wasn't ready for it.

However I'm not going to do that because we are coworkers and I don't want a lawsuit on my hands. The job isn't that important to me so if I lose it I won't be bothered.

I realise this is serious oneitis but because my marriage restricts me from fucking other women (and I'm so oneitis that I don't even want to), I'm not being able to get over this in the normal way.

Unless you've felt the grip of oneitis you won't understand this: I am slipping into a deep depression. I hate the weekends and it's unfair on my wife and kids as they can sense this but have no idea why.

The feeling of analysing every look, every conversation, and talking to people when your mind is focused on one person who isn't there is absolutely gutting. It is making me feel physically sick and giving me heart palpitations.

If I end my marriage I lose everything and this girl may decide that she still doesn't want me. If I don't, I have to live with this awful situation and continue to become depressed.

The only thing helping me at the moment is the knowledge that this girl loves me. Without going into the myriad signs and signals of this, she feels the same way and misses me in the same way when I'm not there.

Help.