Dad started physically abusing me again

TRPCops · 2021-02-13T11:29:32+00:00

Rule zero

TigerXtrm · 2021-02-12T20:18:48+00:00

Unless he pays your college in full ahead of time, you realize he's going to keep that leverage for the entire duration of your study, right? He could drink himself into a stupor and decide to stop paying one day and you'd be fucked. You need a plan B.

GetBehindMeSatan666 · 2021-02-12T20:19:15+00:00

Mind your dad. Dont piss him off. Fly under the radar tell you can leave pal. If hes drinking hes not exactly the worlds best Muslim to begin with. Don't point this out to him.

Youre in a tough spot. My dad threw me out at 17 after I fought back. I was boxing and training MMA at this point wrestled my whole life. He attempted to throw me across the room I used his own leverage and it got him thrown across the room. Dont do what I did it fucked our relationship up I didnt speak to him for awhile after that.

How much longer do you have tell you leave for college? Ride it out tell you can leave. Youre in his house so you must follow his rules. Dont talk back just use the "yes sir" "no sir" type of thing.

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JohnZoffman · 2021-02-12T22:00:49+00:00

Dont listen to guys telling you to beat your dad.

Dont beat your dad, defend yourself if you have to.

But just get out man. Call the cops, your mom, family members, anything.

I dont know the rules in your country, but just listed the things i would do.

You say it would take 4-5 years to make it by yourself, thats nothing and it sure is better.

laiyaise · 2021-02-12T22:49:09+00:00

Truth is you're his bitch until you become independent whether or not he beats you, that is simply the family power dynamic, his roof, his rules. It all comes down to whether or not you can endure being a punching bag until you leave. Sometimes you gotta eat shit to get ahead. Maybe you can find ways to deal with it in the meantime by avoiding him. Just understand that getting beaten by your parents kind of fucks you up mentally but on the bright side he's been beating you since your formative years so you're already fucked up in the head by it anyway, what's a few more months?

If you can't do that, grinding for 4-5 years to be independent and pay for college yourself isn't so bad. Maybe once he realizes he fucked up he might reach out and pay for it anyway to try mend the relationship, maybe your mother will bawl her eyes out and pressure him to change his mind, you never know. Parents usually don't understand what they have until the nest is empty, then all of a sudden their relationship with their kids has a much higher priority.

2021-02-13T00:00:37+00:00

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Don_Draper27 · 2021-02-13T00:16:58+00:00

I'm sorry OP. There's some trauma you're gonna have to move past once you're finally free and away from your dad.

Like others have said, have a plan b set up. It doesn't have to be pleasant, just as long as you have something you can fall back on.

I hate to admit it but sometimes we do have to wait things out that are uncomfortable or painful, for successes in our future lives. Sometimes you have to negotiate and anxiously wait things out until the other cracks first.

Rene-Girard · 2021-02-13T01:27:05+00:00

Don't be so sure that your dad is actually planning to pay for your college abroad. When abusive people cannot abuse (because you will hit him back), they will manipulate instead. Odds are he's dangling college in front of you to control you. You've already seen the evidence of that.

Have you seen evidence that he has paid for the college? Real evidence?

Your father hates you because he sees you as competition and knows you're better than him. He's a beta.

Do you have any other family you could stay with? A 20 year old guy will usually be welcome to stay with any uncles, aunts or close relatives. If you stay with them and behave as an impeccable guest your father will have very few options to try to control you. He can't come there and make a scene without losing face and he can't bad mouth you with your relatives when they can see with their own eyes you're a good person.

So many sons are being controlled by their parents dangling college, inheritances, businesses, plain money etc in front of them. Don't be fooled. Look at options to get out without your fathers aid if that's what you want.

2021-02-12T21:51:49+00:00

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blackkan999 · 2021-02-13T00:51:50+00:00

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Title	Dad started physically abusing me again
Author	blackkan999
Upvotes	17
Comments	16
Date	February 12, 2021 8:01 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/lijdh3/dad_started_physically_abusing_me_again/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/dad-started-physically-abusing-me-again.739326 https://theredarchive.com/post/739326

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