Here's a brute fact we face: it is impossible to know, first-hand, what sex is like with you compared to other men. I can't stop obsessing over this fact. It probably stems from me getting cheated on and watching ex-LTR's ride the carousel after breakups.

I can't stop obsessing over the little details of the sexual interactions women I've been with are having with other men. For instance, when I got cheated on, I wanted to know every last little tiny detail of the sexual interactions they had. I would've killed to have footage of the interactions from beginning to end in order to find peace. How did he escalate? What was her reaction? What did he say? What did she say? These questions torment me, and still do. The unsolvable mystery of these details plague me.

My intrusive insecurity is that I'm a chode and awkward at sex, regardless of whether the women i've been with seemed to enjoy it and tell me as much without being prompted. And that sex with me vs other men is like night and day, and I'll never be able to know. Hence the insecurity. I keep wondering, how do other guys do this part with her? Is she completely different when she's with other people? Am I doing something wrong and I'll never know? What is sex like between my ex-partner and her new boyfriend? Am I totally awkward in comparison? I OBSESS over the unknowable details. Like I said, I would kill to have footage of sexual interactions between ex-LTR and their new boyfriends so that I could prove to myself that I'm not actually all that different, sexually speaking.

I acknowledge that I'm being a faggot, but I can't get rid of it. Is this normal among men? How do I overcome it?