Coming to terms with the teaching of TRP is quite mind altering. I would say I was purple pill before, but coming to term with the nature of human reality is still a struggle. I am in a state of cognitive dissonance. I want so badly for the blue pill idealism to be true. Yet I can not unknow, what I know now. It is just a brutal vicious world out there. I think coming to grips that no one truly cares about you is very hard, and you can only look out for yourself. The other day after finishing having dinner with one of my closest friends, things are just different now. The same kind of blue pill idealistic eternal friendship feeling is no longer there. I start to pick up on more subtle ques and come to terms that he too can walk away from my life too, and I must accept that. I still alternate from anger, and disgust to sadness of the reality which we live in. I have never felt more alone yet, I have never come closer to reality. I am unsure when this depression phase will pass if at all. Then again I am not completely over my ex. Any advice for a newly inducted red piller?