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[–]TheNewestofNew 3 points4 points5 points 9 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
LDR never work. Never.
[–]DevilishRogue-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It depends on how frequently you see each other and how long the relationship is long-distance. It cannot be sustained indefinitely as an exclusive relationship if you aren't in regular frequent contact but that doesn't mean it can't work overall.
[–]LordThunderbolt1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
LDRs never work. Stop trying to rationalize it.
[–]DevilishRogue0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It isn't rationalisation it is providing the complete picture. Obviously Paris to LA is a little different from Detroit to Toronto but that is precisely the point I am making.
[–]TheNewestofNew -1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Keep spinning that hamster wheel....
[–]DevilishRogue-1 points0 points1 point 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
By all means make a decision from a place of ignorance if you think that works best for you. But don't pretend you know what you're talking about when you clearly don't as it just makes you look like a wannabe.
[–]-drukpa-kunley-1 point2 points3 points 9 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
So first of all, LDRs never work. There's no shared experience to keep it alive.
The second thing is, you are correct in that the deal he is proposing is a shitty deal.
It is possible for a man to love more than one woman at once, and men are biologically programmed to spread their seed. However, he isn't proposing to keep his relationship with you AND have a relationship with the other girl. He wants to bang this other chick and keep you on the hook, but not invest any time in to you. You're right. It's disrespectful and based on that, he's a bad Captain.
If he were still investing in you in the same way as before he met this girl, it would be a different story.
So the important thing to think about is to ignore how you feel about him for a moment, and look at his behavior and judge if he is a good Captain or not, solely by his actions.
[–]bellsofthecathedral points points points 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
He says he doesn't love the girl and just wants to bang her. What if he is still investing in me?
[–]-drukpa-kunley-0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
The problem is, this is all long distance, and I've never seen it work. So unless he's flying to Paris monthly, there really isn't any "investing" going on.
I could tell you how to manage it if you were both in the same city, but there's no point.
If I had to guess right now, this guy has narcissist tendencies, and he's probably manipulative. Just by the facts of the shitty deal he's offering and by the fact that you're considering not ending the relationship.
If this is actually true, then whatever I say won't matter, because if you keep talking to him, he will keep pimping your mind and playing you to keep you on the hook.
You're letting your emotions cloud your judgement. Call a spade a spade, cut your losses, and tell him you'll look him up when you get back to the states.
What if he is taken by then.
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
Then you move on with your life girl. There are plenty of other dudes out there. There are millions of guys you haven't met yet.
I suck with guys
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
How old are you? How attractive do u think you are on a scale of 1-10?
Do you want to discuss this in PM?
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You can pm me
[–]LordThunderbolt1 point 9 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]-drukpa-kunley-0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link
So what? He doesn't sound like that great of a catch to me.
Edit: Serious question, no disrespect intended. Do you have low self-esteem? There's a piece of the story that you haven't told me, because your reactions don't match with his behavior.
Edit 2: Can you tell me why this dude is better than all of the other 3.5 billion dudes on the planet?
[–]DevilishRogue0 points1 point2 points 9 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Are you prepared to stay with him if he has sex with this other girl? If he has no intention of leaving you, you would appear to have this as an option if you want it. It's up to you to decide whether you are prepared to accept it or not. It is hardly disrespecting you that he wants to have sex with other people when you aren't around for a year, regardless of whether you want to or not. You just need to decide if it is a red line for you. If it is, then break up and try to stay friends if you want. If it isn't then accept that a year is a long time to spend apart and that guys and girls are different when it comes to preference for quantity of partners.
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[–]TheNewestofNew 3 points4 points5 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue-1 points0 points1 point (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]LordThunderbolt1 point2 points3 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]TheNewestofNew -1 points0 points1 point (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]-drukpa-kunley-1 point2 points3 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]bellsofthecathedral points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]-drukpa-kunley-0 points1 point2 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]bellsofthecathedral points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]bellsofthecathedral points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]bellsofthecathedral points points points [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]LordThunderbolt0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LordThunderbolt1 point [recovered] | Copy Link
[–]-drukpa-kunley-0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]DevilishRogue0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link