I swallowed the pill about 6 months ago and have started all the necessary steps to improve myself. While I am still very far from my goal, I feel that my social abilities have gotten MUCH better in a very short span of time. I attribute this mostly to the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" and my implementation of its advice, especially with regard to subtle manipulation.

However, even though my life is objectively improving due to this new skill set (promotions at work, getting invited to social events, severely diminished approach anxiety, etc.), I still feel empty inside. It literally all feels like a game, and I'm just getting better at choosing the right phrase for a given moment. None of it feels genuine. For example, I have always felt a rush of excitement whenever I made someone laugh. Now, even though my banter and jokes have gotten more effective, I just feel like I'm going through the motions. No joy, nothing.

Even though I technically have more "friends", I still don't feel comfortable truly opening up unless I'm on the Internet and anonymous.

Every morning I walk out the door and I feel like I have to turn on a switch or start a computer program in my mind. Like a puppet.

Does this feeling ever go away? Or do you just try and enjoy the results of your facade?