TLDR: Don’t like being married to old Asian wife, like hot sexy young girls. Have two kids. What do?

I will be turning 32 in November. My wife(35) is a Japanese national who I met while I was in the military. We have been together for almost 12 years, married almost 10. We have a 10 year old daughter and 6 year old son who has somewhat mild special needs. We have been separated geographically for over 2 years. I have never been faithful.

From the beginning she was one of many girls I was dating. I came to Japan with only one previous high school GF and have struggled with confidence issues. I have never had trouble attracting the attention of females but due to bullying, late growth spurt, mild speech impediment (stutter), I did not grow up with confidence. Good friends, drugs, and alcohol helped me get out of my own head. 

Currently in decent shape but far from my peak. Really only do callisthenics and run now but when I do seriously lift I clean up quick. I have had many relationships with beautiful woman and there is always one common theme. It goes from 0 to 100 real quick. Any girl that I have pursued has been all over me by the end of the night. What is attractive to me in a woman is femininity, symmetry, uniqueness, and most of all their attraction towards me. 

I met a girl almost two years ago. She is really my type. Cannot really describe anything say anything bad about her except AWALT. I have always known that this marriage is only happening because I want to be around my children. It is getting to the point where I am asking myself, “when are you going to divorce.” I mean there really is never going to be a good time. Do you wait until the children are older? Do you do it ASAP and not waste each others time? Do you wait for some major fuck up to happen and have it blow up in your face?

I think it needs to happen. I’ve never posted before. Lurked for over 5 years. Not really sold on everything that is preached but take what I think is useful. Being alone for the last few years has been bitter sweet. I love being a bachelor but even then I am still not doing what I want. Everything I do is still influenced by someone I am not in love with and its a sham. 

Really don’t know what I am asking from y’all. Just want to kind of start a dialogue in this thread and hear opinions and learn. The things I really want to focus on now are my career and establishing myself in a way where I can be there for my kids as much as I can in the likelihood I will get divorced. Thank you if you made it this far and I would appreciate any and all advice. I know I am a faggot and a pussy.