Frequent RP observer. A lot of material I read on here I take it in and use it into everyday life. For the last year and a half I have been working to be the best me I can be and live a amazing quality of life but, I’ve just been more depressed than ever.

I joined the army, came back home got a nice car, nice job and even moved into my first apartment. Things just felt amazing as it was all happening. I’m a solid 8, Black Guy, 5’9, 160lbs. Not the super handsome but not ugly. I have about 3 plates that I spin currently and the sex is fun but I feel so fucking empty. On top of it all I work(worked) at Honda City selling cars and in the beginning it was fun but the dickface managers and the continuously long 12 hour shifts really took a toll on me. The money was great but I was far from happy. About 2 days ago I quit and now I’m here. I don’t know where I went wrong but I’m not the same me. Now I have rent coming, thank god I saved my money, but after that then what ? I have a impressive resume especially with military background. I applied as a personal trainer at xperience fitness and interviewed. It felt like it went good and I would be happy to be hired, I would be happy to have any job at this point.

My question I’m trying to ask is where did I go wrong ? I’m living the life people strive to get but I’m just unhappy and bored like depressed. Some days I wake up and have to beg myself not to blow my brains out but I have no real reason why I should I just feel like I should. I have no clue where this all came from. My 2018 was starting amazing but once I felt myself becoming unhappy and working a job that allowed no personal time to myself I just took a jump into the deep end ? Any thoughts ? Any insight is better than no insight.