Hello TRP,

I've been around for a while. After I got here as a college dropout over a year ago, I watched Jordan Peterson, I cleaned my room and got everything turning around.

Got enrolled back in school, got a couple of jobs and a side hustle, started BJJ and went back to lifting. Dropped the drugs/alcohol/video games. Still masturbate multiple times a week but that's improved alot from the multiple times a day I was doing it previously.

After coming here, I developed my personality into this very confident, brash guy. After a while it became natural and over time, as my social skills improved, I was finally able to open and hold conversations with everyone from old ladies to younger attractive girls my age. Everyone I met day to day was a practice ground for improving my charisma and social skills.

Started making friends easily, and developed a nice social circle. Whenever I wanted, I could have people to hangout with every night. At this point I've finally filled out my frame and am 6'5 220. Invested alot into dressing/grooming to where I get alot of compliments on my clothes.

The only problem I have currently is this weird self-hate. I have this one sort of deformity. Maybe it's not a "deformity" per se, but I have a giant nose. Like the biggest nose that I've personally seen in my entire life.

I know that it's something people notice, because even my wonderful 6 year old nephew has made comments about it out of curiosity, saying "Your nose is so big! How did it get so big!?" LOL.

Even with my height and weight and improved social skills and style, I just don't see myself as being a high quality guy.

I've had some ugly girls throw themselves at me, where I've had to respectfully decline because I just am not physically attracted.

A few other decent, like universal 6-7's have shown IOI and have wanted to hangout with me 1 on 1 over coffee and stuff like that. I've gone with them, and the thing is, when I get there, I have this bullshit in my head where I feel like I'm not good enough to escalate on them.

Whenever things turn relatively sexual or teasing I always disqualify myself by throwing into the conversation that I'm already talking to someone, or have a girl, etc. Then it becomes fun, because I can make fun of them, and it seems like they let their guard down and I tease them mercilessly.

Those girls always invite me out with them after stuff like that. They become my attractive female "friends" that I secretly want.

I just always come back to this nonsense about how like "ohhh you're so ugly" why would a hot girl want you? It's really crippling.

Let me know what you guys think of overcoming this issue