Got an LTR pregnant by accident a long time ago while we were living abroad. Really early, like university early, but it was the first impactful LTR on my life. She had a miscarriage while we were abroad (I wanted her to come back home to have a proper abortion in a good medical facility as I wasn't ready for it), she left to come back to our home country, and basically left me abroad for a month while I was working there. Kinda of just ran away. It was complicated. Before we really got to talk about the whole thing properly, she branch swung to someone else within like 1 eff'ing month of me getting back, which completely fucked with my head. I went nuts, got really depressed, tried to get her back to no avail at the time. Didn't expect her to move on so quickly after such an intense experience together, and 2 years together. She took the damn puppy that we had with her too, and with another guy in the picture, I just was disgusted by the whole thing so I just left after trying everything I thought would work.

I went off, graduated, and did a bunch of great shit with my life. Got a bit of revenge in my success. But now kind of at a cross roads now, thinking about my life, and reconnected with her as I met someone that reminded me of her. A while back I found out she married the guy who she branch swung to, which was messed. Seeing the girl I was so enamored with someone else like that. Now I found out she just had a baby and is pregnant with another, and immediately felt terrible.

It's shitty that so many years later (6?), I still find this messes me up. Kind of jealous, I guess. Since what I want eventually is to start a family, with a girl that's similar to her - nice, smart, beautiful, supporting. Ambitious but willing to sacrifice her career to start a family. Idk, wondering what your thoughts are on this. It seems like I have this emotional attachment that didn't go away, even this many years later. It'll probably feel fine tomorrow, dating like 3 girls simultaneously right now, and not having too much trouble with women or anything like that - obviously still stumbling sometimes and it could be better. But this has just thrown me off, feeling crappy given the things that I think I want eventually. I don't have regrets about any action I took in particular, and I still think her actions were unreasonable. Just have a general feeling of loss, as after the pregnancy, I started conceptualizing her as a potential mother of my kids in the future, and now I'm seeing that future actualized in a different way. And that weird obsession that I developed after the break up never went away. Feels like someone took what I wanted. Loss to competition. Etc.

Anyone else find themselves in similar situations with an ex, what's your take on handling this.