I'm failing out my Junior Year of Electrical Engineering. I'm constantly tired, alone, secluded, and honestly this life is just so fucking hard. I have a view on life that I'm ultimately a failure. And what I'm doing right now is delaying my inevitable demise. The only way I can describe it is the gut sinking feeling when you've tried outrunning a team of enemies on a videogame and they catch up and corner you. I'm 20 years old still a virgin. My last 3 relationships ended terribly. I used to be 180lbs of muscle now I'm down to 160. I'm just a complete fucking mess right now. I constantly switch from having absolutely zero confidence to not giving a fuck about anything. Any type of alcohol gives me migraines now. My memory is a mess and I'm constantly forgetting things. My sleep schedule is terrible and I either sleep for 4 hours or 12-13. I'm addicted to porn. My gym sessions are shit. My haircut is atrocious. I don't have a job. Its already Fall season, my favorite season of the year, and the guilt and pressure of everything keeps me from enjoying even the little things in life.

​

I used to consider myself hardcore (I did Marine ROTC and Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, ice baths, etc.) but now that I really think about it, I'm seriously now just a fucking soft body train wreck. There are a lot of sniveling beta cuck posers on this subreddit now. A lot of weakling hotshots who will say shit like "Yeah bro you are a loser while I'm living life fucking bitches in my Ferrari."

I'm failing out my Junior Year of Electrical Engineering. I'm constantly tired, alone, secluded, and honestly this life is just so fucking hard. I have a view on life that I'm ultimately a failure. And what I'm doing right now is delaying my inevitable demise. The only way I can describe it is the gut sinking feeling when you've tried outrunning a team of enemies on a videogame and they catch up and corner you. I'm 20 years old still a virgin. My last 3 relationships ended terribly. I used to be 180lbs of muscle now im down to 160. Im just a complete fucking mess right now. I constantly switch from having absolutely zero confidence to not giving a fuck about anything. Any type of alcohol gives me migrains now. My memory is a mess and I'm constantly forgetting things. My sleep schedule is terrible and I either sleep for 4 hours or 12-13. I'm addicted to porn. My gym sessions are shit. My haircut is attrocious. I don't have a job. Its already Fall season, my favorite season of the year, and the guilt and pressure of everything keeps me from enjoying even the little things in life.