Today I was at Starbucks to do some studying. I was sitting at a table alone and all of a sudden some dude that looked like a gangster decides to sit on the chair on the other side of my table. I didn’t really show any negative reaction to this but it definitely pissed me off that he would take the freedom to do that.

I acted like nothing happened but shortly after I automatically went into defensive mode. I expanded with my whole body to make myself larger, and one of my feet ended up touching his chair. I felt that his move to come next to me into my territory was a challenge to me so I fired back at him by showing him that I’m not afraid of his gangster bullshit because respect of my boundaries is important to me.

The guy ended up leaving for a few minutes, then when he came back, he noticed my foot was still on the leg of the chair he wanted to sit back in, so he came back, moved it a little and sat there for a few more minutes, then he left.

I wanted some feedback from trp about how I handled the situation. I have a feeling that the alpha way was probably to just not give a fuck about his presence and just pretend he didn’t exist. However there was something inside of me that wanted me to assert myself and send a clear message that I’m not afraid of his punk ass, but without acknowledging to him that he got my attention (i.e. without caving into his frame).

Now that I think about it, I probably should have put my foot ON the chair the first time he left because that would have sent an even clearer message. I didn’t think about it then but I know that if I did, I would have definitely done it.

How do you guys think I handled it? Any tips on what I could improve on?