I'll start with a little backstory on myself. A couple years ago I was a beta bp, etc, etc. Then I stumbled into some PUA stuff. This was before TRP was formally initiated but many of the overarching idea's remained the same. As a side note: it's interesting to look back now at its evolution and how far this community has come and I feel like it's because many people have this intrinsic connection to the idea's shared here.

Anyways, after doing my own personal research, I hand-picked the advice that worked best for me and ignored the rest. Which I think people should do; critically analyze the advice given and receive only what is deemed useful for your own personal experiences so that you have a well-tailored set of values. Life got good and I kind of stopped visiting PUA sites.

But then life went bad. I got injured so I was out of the gym for a couple months. At the same time, I got accepted into my desired concentration but this came with added anxiety. I was slowly starting to slip back into being a beta. Luckily I stumbled into TRP, and despite what others believe about TRP, there is solid advice here.

Now during my musings with women, one thing always stood out to me. Inevitably, after some time of dating these women, I'd realize that they're just not that great. I felt like the only real value they were providing me was sex. It felt empty. On top of that, when I told them I was not looking for anything serious these women got really upset, as expected, but it also made me feel guilty. Now, I know I shouldn't feel guilty but I do have a high capacity for empathy and I do feel responsible for the well-being of those around me. Call me beta but this trait is the primary attribute I am relying on for my career path. So I just deal with it.

Now in order to remove this guilt, I decided, maybe I just need to stop having meaningless sex. Maybe I should actually try and "fall" for a girl again. The problem is that in order to "fall" for a girl, it requires a ton of idealization. Once you've opened your eyes to the bullshit some girls pull it becomes hard to idealize women. And that's the dilemma I am currently facing. Personally, the numbers game works great and I bed some great women, but it feels empty. If I try to "fall" for a girl I go back to beta tendencies. Is there a balance?

Or I could just be thinking about this too hard.

TL;DR I've prided myself in having good values but I can't help but question them if my actions leave someone hurt. Should I continue with the numbers game despite it being hurtful for the other party?