Was Redpilled last year in december. Graduated High School this summer and turned 18 this August . I didn't scored good in exams as I expected hence decide to retake the exam such that i can score good . But the ambition in me slowly started to decrease as I started to sit at home and do nothing but consuming content from netflix, youtube, reddit and other shit websites instead of working on myself as I promised myself when i decided to retake the exam .

At a point in life where i feel like I have the lowest , I remember a time when teachers told me have potential to be score very good and become successful but at some of time my life started going downslope, lost all motivation. Now I feel like if have ever succeeded in my life , feels like I have wasted my 18 years and 2 months of life. I am literally in tears while writing this post, this realization hits me everyday but I dont do anything instead of procrastinating. I only have 1 close friend ( said friend is also redpilled and i can believe on him) who I talk to once in a week via phone or messenger becuase he lives far enough. The exam I am about to take is in 5 months and I have to cover whole year's syllabus and I have not even started , I know I can complete the syllabus within 3 months if study 10 hours everyday.

If have everything planned out on how to get good grades and a better life but I am not able to follow the plan. I think i never learned self control or discipline in my years of adolescence or childhood , and I feel it might be to late. When the certain realization hits me i work hard two or three day but then i feel very tired .

I don't know how to help myself. Though I think I know what are the obstacles in my way but i dont know how to move past them . These are the obstacles I face :-

  1. I lack discipline.
  2. I lack perseverence
  3. I lack regularity ( irregular schedule)
  4. Staying up late and sleeping till 10 AM ( i only sleep 6 hours)
  5. Taking baths at irregular time interval ( i maintain basic hygiene though its just when i take cold showers in early morning i feel fresh and full of energy)
  6. Maybe lacking of testosterone ( I have gotten from BMI of 26 to BMI of 32 and grown a pair of bitch tits in 4 years)
  7. Lacking friends and competitive environment .
  8. Not working out.
  9. Eating shit food consciously.( I know how to cook well but i feel its not worth the effort
  10. Serious self esteem issues. (Back in the day I allowed kids to treated me like shit , made some shitty friends who always put me down to have a laugh i thought i deserved it because i was the class joker and was weird)
  11. I always knew i could do better cause even with low effort I was an above student but never felt the desire to put change my status.
  12. Daydreaming about fucking a lots of women using my redpill knowledge (I'm a virgin) and earning a shit load of money( dont know how ) but doing nothing about it.
  13. I dont know what I am doing or going to do.

I think the of my all obstacles are lacking discipline, perseverance and irregular behavior. I feel like I have ADHD but I think its my choice to live like this. And still I cant find a way to stop this bs currently happening in my life.

I need advice from fellow brothers , how should I start my tomorrow morning and doing till my life gets better. FOR EG. Doing something that i dont usually do like taking a cold shower at 5 am or running 3 miles. Please share tips I know very little . I know its just a phase but i dont know to get past this. AND I FEEL ONCE I GET PAST THIS PHASE I WILL FEEL HAPPINESS , A SENSE OF FULFILLMENT, AND JOY.

AND FOR ONES WHO DIDN'T HAD READ MY POST

TLDR: Feeling like a failure because of past and my choices. Certain obstacles are in my way to achieve greatness which stated in the given post .Gained a few pound and I am lonely . Lacking ambition and dont know what to do in future instead of having lots of sex and deskjob .Please help

Saw a photo of me back when i was in 7th, I was healthy and cute. Female friends treat me like a kid pressing my cheeks and say how cute I am, only to friendzone me. Though I am short (167 cm / 5'6") i have good facial features. Not humble bragging.