I'm 20. I first heard about the pill ~ 3 years ago, and began internalizing it around 2 years ago when I started uni. I feel like my mentality is shit right now.

I've run into a mental block when it comes to dating/sex. I've only had sex with one girl in this 2-3 year span, and it was she who initiated it with me. She explicitly told me that she wanted to have sex with me, and all I did was say yes. It was my first time. She broke it off after a couple months (~ 6 months ago). Since then, I've really only been able to k-close, and just at parties (high energy makes it easier for me).

I chalked up my lack of sexual success to my being preoccupied with schoolwork / career developments, so when summer started, I installed a dating app, and reached out to a few acquaintances to hang out (ie. get dinner, etc. – I guess it's not clear its a date). None of these dates (~ 3 total in last 2 weeks) had any success. Case in point: My "date" spent half the time on her phone at dinner, conversation felt like I was a female friend, and yet the worst part is I still felt the urge to ask her out again (make dinner at my place). She comes, but she's still on her phone half the time, and our conversation makes me think that we are just friends or I'm talking to a brick wall – either way, it felt disrespectful and made me equally confused. In fact, almost all the "dates" I've been going on feel like I'm just a friend, and it wouldn't be proper for me to escalate. The only dates I've successfully escalated are when I don't really know that person. I feel like I mentally classify myself as their friend from the onset, and that fucks my mentality.

It's now summer (so many students have left), yet I've never felt like my options were so limited / lack potential. There are few orgs / clubs / parties for now, and I fear developing a negative reputation if I start approaching on the streets.

What should I do? How do I fix my mindset?