I hope I can get some answers in this sub. So a little backstory: I'm 29, single, no kids and never married. Back in my early 20's up until a couple years ago, my confidence in myself and dating was growing. In high school, I lacked confidence and how to pick up women. It wasn't until college that things started turning around. During then, i dated a few women, had girlfriends, and fell in love twice ( not that I didnt love the other girlfriends). Anyways, many selfish stupid relationships later, I found myself single in 2011. I began to wonder why. After some self evaluating, I came to the conclusion that I felt like I was using my charm/good guy image to get women into bed with me, even if it meant getting into a relationship with them. So in a way, I became what I had despised and felt like I was using women for my own selfish pleasures without the guilt of having one-night-stands. Along in the self-realization process, I discovered I had a fear of commitment and love. Of course, going through my process, I wanted to change how I went about relationships and dating women by maturing WHY I dated...AND who I dated by being honest with myself, because sadly enough, I would date any women that gave the slightest bit of attention...even though I was not thoroughly attracted to her.

This leads me to present day. As of lately, I feel like my confidence is low and I dont even have the slightest amount of strength to ask out a girl. (mainly at my age, I'm looking for someone who is single with no kids, so meeting someone like that is like finding a needle in a haystack, most are married, taken, or single with kids.) I want to get out there and ask women out but I'm not the greatest at asking them out right off the bat at first meet. I feel like my self-evaluation did more harm than good, zapping me of my confidence and why I built it up in the first place. I feel ashamed of how I went about things in the past and want to move on. I want to build my confidence up and ask women out, but I feel stuck. How do I do this? I want to do things right this time....

P.S. Sorry if this may be the wrong sub to post this in, but I would love a female perspective and I respect this sub alot.