Do you guys ever initiate fights or arguments with anyone?
I think engaging in a verbal argument is losing your frame so I almost never engage in one. It feels rather petty now. And I always regret doing so if I do it.
My simple policy is to next the person as soon as they have become a problem. Whether they are friends or romantic interests. I never express my emotions, and if someone has pissed me enough, I queue them for soft next. I never shout at them.
I try to maintain a calm demeanor and handle these issues subtly.
I messed up recently and this female friend of mine was blasting angry with me. She wasn't any sort of love interest, just a friend.
She didn't express her anger assertively, but she was oozing with anger in her passive aggressive responses. I apologized once since it was my fault, but she wasn't letting it go, I felt the punishment was out of proportion and was unhealthy, so I broke off the friendship.
A beta suggested me "sometimes you have to beg / apologize multiple times when with women". What a great way to damage your self-esteem!
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