Hello,

First of all let me start by telling you I've read the sidebar twice.

I'm not super muscular guy, I'm just lean and slim.

I have few businesses, I make decent income, I have my own apartment and car.

The thing is - I still don't feel fulfiled. I feel I'm missing my purpose. Yes I make some money just because I know how to do it, but deep inside I'm not happy even though I have most of the things a normal person should want.

This is the reason maybe I developed oneitis for the last girl I was seeing for a short period of time.

I realized that if that girl was my actual long term GF I would be still as miserable and I would probably want to replace her, since she is not the right one.

We come to the most important part - as we know there are no right ones. What I mean by that - my last serious GF was very good as a GF and we had good time and all. And even then I felt like I was wasting my life with her.

I truly don't know how to explain it - I develop oneitis for a girl I think is A right one. Second phase - I'm with that girl and I realize she is just a human with her flaws and I actually am not that attracted to her. Third phase - I sit on the balcony sipping my drink and wonder how to get the fuck out of her. Fourth phase - I feel lonely and the cycle repeats itself.

I realize we may be talking some form of depression here, because I always wonder "Is that all there is to life"? Making money, spending money, wanting a girl, then getting annoyed having her and the cycle repeats itself.

Back in the day I used to drink alcohol but I stopped since I started using it as escape mechanism.

It became a long post - WTF is wrong with me?