First date: when to kiss/pull? Conflicting advice

I've been going on a few dates but failing to F-close on all of them.

My strategy so far has been to kiss and make out a little bit at the first/second venue, pull back for a while, then make out outside and suggest to go back to my place with plausible deniability.

I can always make out with the girl (sometime it takes 1-2 tries, especially with shy ones), and I can almost always bring the girl to my place. Then I get bad LMR and cannot close.

I've been using this strategy as I've read advice on here claiming that I should go to the kiss early during the date to make my intentions clear and to start a sexual vibe.

Similarly, I've been trying to F-close on the first date as I've read many success stories and always thought that it would be worth a try if the girl was into me.

However, this is obviously not working... I've recently read conflicting advice along the lines of:

"It's better to only kiss after pulling her back to her place for more sexual tension"
"When at your place, you should escalate for a while then stop, and let her escalate on her own"
"It's better to close the first date with a kiss early, without trying to pull the girl, to show that you don't care about the outcome and are not needy"

This doesn't make sense to me, but maybe this is where I am going wrong. My train of thought has been:

I want to kiss her early so that I show I'm sexually interested and don't get friend-zoned, and also to gauge her response (i.e. how attracted is she?)
I want to bring her home (if appropriate, after gauging her response to the kiss) and escalate - if she made out with me and looks interested, why should I stop escalation?

Maybe I'm missing something here. I know about "prize mentality", but I genuinely believe that these girls would enjoy and would be lucky to have sex with me.

Does "prize mentality" imply artificially delaying what I want... in order to get it?

Should I be more aloof and not escalate as much?

[–]Quantum_Jiraiya 1 points1 points1 points 8 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

[–]Psilotheos5 points6 points7 points 8 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]redpilledjoe2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Psilotheos2 points3 points4 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I see you said you can't go to bars and that's actually fine. I've never had a date at a bar personally. As with the coffee thing, if you're from a Western country it is completely normal. If the girl brings up it's weird it is definitely a shit test. On the topic of other types of dates, something like going for a hike, wildlife park/zoo or beach seems like a low investment and cheap choice.

My usual go to is going to coffee but never staying in the coffee shop, go walk around and bonus points if you pick a coffee shop near the beach or beautiful park. I've had great success doing.

The way I F-close is guaging by how well the date goes is how much the woman reciprocates, if I have her making out or even sexual touches (if it's going well touch her breasts through her clothes and if she likes it she is DTF) I'll invite her to my place for some reason such as playing with fireworks, seeing my goats.. most the time if she likes you enough you won't even have to give a reason but to be safe always give a reason so you don't trigger ASD, that shit is a landmine my friend.

If logistics aren't favourable invite her over on the second date and only your place. If she says yes you're guaranteed an f-close. Happy hunting

[–]tayowsp[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[–]tayowsp[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

If yall meet on tinder and go back to your place, they want to smash.

Then I am obviously doing something wrong.

Girl 1: making out on my bed, dry humping. After some resistance I manage to get her shirt off, start fingering her. She immediately gets insane LMR and starts saying that "she needs to go" and "doesn't do this on the first date". I attempt to play it cool and pull back but she dresses and leaves.
Girl 2: making out on the sofa, she lets me touch her boobs under the shirt and I start massaging her vagina (still dressed). Things are starting to heat up and she pulls back, says that "she would like to stay but has a curfew" (lives with parents), and that "she doesn't go any further on the first date". I play it cool again, trying to avoid displaying neediness. Attempt one more escalation but ends in the same way, she leaves. She's coming to my place tomorrow, but scheduling the second date felt so painful (one-sided effort), so she'll probably flake.
Girl 3: making out on the bed, she's insanely horny. Attempt to take her shirt off, she refuses, saying that "she wasn't expecting this" and that "she didn't prepare, didn't shave and was on her period", and that "made her feel uncomfortable with herself". Kept apologizing, seemed genuine. Then she says she needs to leave (the day after was a work day and she lives 40min away). When leaving the asks "will we see each other again?" to which I reply "maybe" with a smirk. Sounds like a win, right? No. I text her 2 days later, trying to set up a date. She says she's busy that day and doesn't attempt to reschedule. I tease her a bit and propose another date. She says she's busy and says "maybe next week haha". I will contact her again in a few days but I would expect a tiny amount of effort from her side if she was really interested.

What the fuck.

[–]tayowsp[S] 0 points1 point2 points 8 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Title	First date: when to kiss/pull? Conflicting advice
Author	tayowsp
Upvotes	8
Comments	8
Date	February 22, 2018 8:16 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/7zhyhu/first_date_when_to_kisspull_conflicting_advice/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/first-date-when-to-kisspull-conflicting-advice.124500 https://theredarchive.com/post/124500

Comments