First time clubbing alone

MoudSpace · 2019-05-18T12:44:07+00:00

Being turned down is just part of the game. You just have to embrace this and never internalize it in a negative way!

You just need to enjoy yourself first .. which means if you feel the anxiety of being "alone" at the club, it will just translate into your "vibes". I would advise you to start going out to clubs alone many times to enjoy the music rather than trying to approach any girls. Forget about genders for now. Start socializong normally. If you have been to rave festivals, you'd see this kind of vibes. And this gives you sort of confidence to not only approach girls in clubs, but to "own" their vibes .. which will make you memorable to them whether positively or negatively ... at least you are not just thin air to them.

TRPKiddo · 2019-05-18T13:14:01+00:00

I only pick up girls at the club when I go in without the intent of picking up a girl.

stt816 · 2019-05-18T13:42:26+00:00

This was not a failure. Your mission was to go out by yourself and talk to people. You did just that, so it was a successful night. Your goal should never be to get laid or get numbers, etc because these goals require the cooperation of other people and are not 100% up to you. Leaving your house, going to a place and talking to people is 100% up to you. Good job.

XXXMersenne · 2019-05-18T17:39:47+00:00

Going in with people, unless it's a girl won't make a difference because most (especially girls) are conditioned to expect someone to come up and try to take value from them, often through validation, overt "game" so to speak (no one wants to play along with something that's too obvious; it's not fun), and even a question could be considered taking value if in doing so you're interrupting the flow of whatever they were engaged in. Thus most are reflexively on guard for 95%+ approaches.

The ideal mindset is that you already feel great and you're just spreading the party (with a hint of "I'm hoping you're cool so you can join in as well 🤞🏽"). This is what people WANT. Fuck a grovelling beta's compliments and small talk. They want COOL people to invite them to the warm end of the pool where they can don their socially savvy personalities and customs. It's just a much more interesting game in that it's more spontaneous and fresh in its self-entitled irreverence compared to the drab normality of polite chit chat.

The 'warm end of the pool' can start off like that but quickly builds up into a rally of roasts and authentically nonsense heated discussion. Harmless stuff, but you let each other know you're shysters. This shit of being too good/clean/well mannered can be socially sterile, to the approacher's detriment. It ain't a fucking business meeting or "out with coworkers" even. People, like you, who are equally vulgar, clumsy and so on and so on when no body is looking.

You need to be the prime mover of this unstifledness in order to grant them permission to do the same and splash around with you.

This however requires a deep understanding of social dynamics, their conditioning and so on in order to execute it with high artistry. In other words, you can't make a "mistake" - you can't do anything that you're simultaneously questioning in your own mind because 100% of the time it'll dilute the effect in some way and seem inauthentic thus voiding the invitation to get silly as you've subtly drawn attention to your thinking it's a "transgression" by second-guessing yourself.

it's really gotta be all or nothing; with style.

masterpiece00 · 2019-05-18T14:37:35+00:00

Most will be having a girls night, or waiting for their chad to show up, or have plans to fuck him later. 90% of girls in nightclubs are dressing/slutting it up to compare to other girls and get free drinks off needy men.

Don't get roped into going to clubs, waste of time and money, You would be using your money better getting a hot escort, fucking your brains away, paying and getting on with your week.

Your smv won't cut it at nightclubs unless you know the owners or have a well known crew.

MattyAnon · 2019-05-18T16:50:13+00:00

Couple were bumping into me while dancing so I literally just asked what’s your name...got turned down let’s say 6 out of 8 time

Girls mostly go to nightclubs for attention.

You can meet girls in clubs, but know that most have boyfriends and are seeking nothing more than attention, fun and validation.

If they wanted a conversation, they'd go somewhere quieter. The loud music is to prevent you from speaking to girls, and they like it this way.

Meet girls anywhere else.

krunchtimer · 2019-05-18T14:35:12+00:00

Been out clubbing by myself many times - sometimes it's just to see a band that nobody else wanted to go along, so I just went with the intention of watching them play, no pickup intentions.

Then there's the times I go to dance clubs alone. That's totally with the intention of asking girls to dance any maybe any kind of pickup action. I'll ask lots of girls to dance, get plenty of rejection, but it doesn't faze me. Most girls don't seem to care if you're there by yourself or not. You can just make up shit like "I met some friends here earlier but I think they left". Girls don't really care.

prodigy2throw · 2019-05-18T15:28:34+00:00

Expect more rejections than successes for the most part. Just make sure you learn from them.

beginner_ · 2019-05-18T16:58:25+00:00

Besides going in with more people (social proof) do you think I could have improved anything?

i mean it can help but back in the day when we went to clubs, sooner than later we would disperse too. we weren't constantly together a s a group. everyone also did his own thing.

Cholo4Trump · 2019-05-18T19:08:53+00:00

U should have danced with them before introducing urself. Girl bumps into you -> eye contact/smirk -> dance with her -> introduce urself.

dont jump straight into introducing yourself, its too loud and no place for the dance floor. all about context and they sensed ur inexperience

WTFhlostonParadise · 2019-05-18T13:22:09+00:00

Clubs are a tuff gig. Nevertheless sounds like you did everything.

Title	First time clubbing alone
Author	stt816
Upvotes	19
Comments	21
Date	May 18, 2019 12:17 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/bq3e3g/first_time_clubbing_alone/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/first-time-clubbing-alone.238790 https://theredarchive.com/post/238790

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