This is my confession. I dated a girl for two years. (18-20.5) From the very beginning I had a feeling she was a hoe, and her values didn’t match up with mine. That I can’t stay with her as her being my one and only, and her sexual past being so hoeish at a young age. But I stayed with her, and the mental anguish from fighting those thoughts, justifying who and what she was, denying what was rightfully evident nagged me for several years. Torture me really because I did love her. I debased myself to cheating in order to finally get over those thoughts. Then she ended things, and proved every thought I originally had, that I fought so hard against, shown correct by every small interaction I’d have with her afterwards. I’m glad she ended, she was always the person I denied that she was when I was too needy for love. But how do I forgive myself for so many years of lying to myself, debasing myself, throwing away my dignity at the foot of a woman, losing my goals and self respect because I was too pussy to end things years ago. I betrayed myself and my own values when I knew better. I really do only have myself to blame. I didn’t have the courage to end things when I knew I had to in order to live the life I wanted. A simple lesson but at such a steep cost. How can I truly forgive myself for betraying my own thoughts emotions and goals.