Getting over performance anxiety

gentleViking · 2014-11-26T21:55:35+00:00

I sometimes have the same experience. There's a certain amount of anxiety I carry into the bedroom especially once the clothes come off with an unfamiliar person. I can be really attracted to the person even.

I've heard of this happening to other guys as well. I've accepted that for me sometimes there's just a certain level of comfort with another person that I need to reach before I can turn off my brain and be turned on by another person. My solution is to just maintain frame throughout the interaction as if it were the most natural thing in the world. This seems to work pretty well. If my foreplay is sufficiently high enough caliber almost always they come back for seconds. I may even comment on it as if to say "huh, can't seem to maintain an erection today." This opens the door and most often my partners will say something like "is there something I'm doing wrong...is there anything I can do?" This opens the door for you to make suggestions. Blowjobs work wonders for this. Dominance is about being in control. You control her reality, you dominate her. It's possible to be completely dominant and even give a woman an amazing orgasm without even touching her.

I would say, stop worrying about fucking her good. Just worry about getting her really really turned on and then tell her what she should do to turn you on. Women love to please and will never say it out loud but really want you to tell them exactly what to do and how to please you. So do exactly that.

I for one sometimes find really rough sex actually desensitizes me and I can loose an erection after I fuck for too long and too roughly. Change it up, go slow, be in control. Push/pull applies to sexy times too.

Also, check in with yourself. Am I tired? Do I have too much alcohol in my system? Did I masturbate 7 times today? Am I stressed out? Anxious? Too many yesses to these questions and I guarantee you most men would have trouble keeping an erection during bedroom antics. Take care of yourself outside of the bedroom too and see if that makes a difference. Also, if you masturbate frequently to porn try not doing that for a few days and see what happens.

P.M. me if you want the Long-term and Short-term diet and supplement protocols for boosting libido and testosterone production. It's crazy but it works. Think pheromones on overdrive. Rock hard erections and women will want to eat you alive.

vandaalen · 2014-11-26T22:10:10+00:00

Two words: Abundance mentality.

Make this all about you. Fuck her the way, you want to fuck her, and make her do the things you want her to do. Don't give a fuck if she enjoys it or not, and don't give a fuck if she will want to meet you again. Be a selfish asshole. There's always a next one. Funnily and coincidently that's what they like.

Also be aware of the fact, that most women will project that onto themselves, and the hamster will start to wonder if she isn't attractive enough, or good enough in bed, for you to remain your erection.

oldredder · 2014-11-27T01:12:56+00:00

You're over-thinking it. The more you think about it the more it will happen. Easily I could get anxiety thinking about if I'll lose it trying to switch a position, put on a condom, whatever, unless I don't think about it. Also I injured a leg badly and if pressure hits a fracture the pain is all-consuming, so in other words, boner-killer so I have to watch that. I've tried to fight through it but pain from inside a real bone is more than enough to kill a boner.

Just think about how good it feels actually fucking her and you'll do that and enjoy it. Just don't let your mind open up that thought, like it's some nonsense thought you should and will put aside.

Redpillonlyaccount · 2014-11-26T21:56:55+00:00

Who said you have to fuck her good and be dominant immediately? Just concentrate on fucking. You've got all the time in the world.

Title	Getting over performance anxiety
Author	ffthegame
Upvotes	4
Comments	7
Date	November 26, 2014 9:17 PM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/2nijpx/getting_over_performance_anxiety/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/getting-over-performance-anxiety.143988 https://theredarchive.com/post/143988

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