I've been with this girl throughout law school and we've both dabbled in stimulants, me with my ADHD meds and Adderall, her with blow and some of my addies at times, we screwed like crazy and I neglected class-time until I got some control with an antidepressant Lexapro. I was way more irritable on it and lethargic, but I was able to function and finish law school because of it. I think it also induced some sort of hypomania combined with my stims because I ended up interning at the WH over the summer and clashed with my co-workers and supervisors, it was just an internship so I got lucky without realizing it I guess.

This past third year, I switched to a less potent med for law school reading called Vyvanse and although I physically and mentally looked better and clearer, I got complacent with my career because I figured my resume would bail me out when time came and Vyvanse worked wonders as far as being less potent drug and for sociability.

Once the bar exam rolled around, I had to lock down and get back on the addies and now she's throwing a tandrum that I'm studying and I'll never change etc. yet she's still dabbling in whatever she was doing here and there at times without me even realizing it, which is why I was on Lexapro to begin with, I was dating someone toxic and put a lid on it. The anxiety was overwhelming when I tried to come off the Lexapro I had to go back on and now she's brawling with me because I'm more assertive on it.

My theory is, at one point she made me feel bad for taking addies to study but most law students do and I am diagnosed ADHD and have it prescribed. With all that said, I still felt bad about it so tried to come off all of it which is where Lexapro was introduced to my life. I took her out places and old friends of mine looked at me like i had 1000 heads and I didn't know why, but the times I've been off of it, the overwhelming anxiety could be the fact she is toxic and instead of dumping her or getting rid of her, I tried to save her. That mentality went away when I treated myself for depression with Lexapro and now all she does is brawl with me and I'm trying to study.

I haven't cheated on this girl all 3 years and i'm getting fed up so I blocked her and just focusing on studying, don't even care if she goes out partying anymore at this point. I also live in a toxic home environment though and how am I suppose to distinguish what the issue here is or who the problem is?

Leaving the WH and coming back to school I felt like a Red Pill King walking around there because I was bottom of the class, too busy screwing my hot gf yet had great resume, so even with job interviews this girl still makes me insane. Could it be that she knows I'm gunna want a normal life again after this exam and possibly see she's messed up and leave?

I feel used and manipulated because I was trying to save her yet her family was never really trying to kick her out I don't believe and I don't even know how to get revenge other than massive success. Figured I'd ask you guys here because now I'm broke, she's in control and I blew an opportunity to save money but instead spent a year doing what she wanted and neglected my own needs. Thanks!