Hey guys, recently got dumped by my LTR after acting like a massive beta, getting oneitis and failing all her shit tests. A lot of what I've read here is helping me understand where I went wrong and helping get over being dumped. She gave some bs reason like we don't have the same values and over time she saw me as a friend which made no sense at first but trp helped me understand I gave away all my power to her frame and became a beta concerned with pleasing her.

Just one thing still confuses me, a lot of guys here recommend being unreactive or amused by shit tests but what if they are clearly crossing your boundaries and disrespecting you? If I'm still unreactive and amused by her disrespecting me aren't I giving her full permission to walk all over me since it seems I don't care if she does?

If you want an example one thing she did is meetup with a male friend for friday night drinks after telling me she was too busy to hang out with me that weekend. I got angry and said I didn't like her doing that but should I have acted like I didn't care? Obviously I think the relationship was already dead before that point since she was essentially choosing another guy over me but I would like to know what I could have done in that situation. And whether you still act like you don't care about her shit test when she is clearly doing something that constitutes a red flag.