What's up guys. Part of this is putting this issue on paper for myself, and I know a lot of guys have been here and there's really nothing to be ashamed of but it doesn't feel good when you're facing strike 3.

I've (21M) been seeing this girl once every week or two and we haven't had sex yet. Why? I am having performance anxiety like a motherfucker. I'll be erect and into it, and when I want to put on the condom after we've been kissing touching for a while in bed, I lose my hard on. She went down on me and swallowed for me both times, and I didn't throw a tantrum I owned it and I went down on her as well. I made her finish and I had a good time overall. But I want to fuck her and understandably it is frustrating.

What's been crushing me mentally is I know I can physically do it. I've jerked off with a condom on successfully a couple of times over the past couple weeks. I did some self-reflection and worrying about finishing pre-maturely, feeling anxious when I'm with her (related to worrying about this), and the history of not being able to perform is a combo mindfuck. I'm now doubting whether she is into me or not or looks down on me because of my perceived failure to activate and it's of course bothering me. It's not just her because I've had this problem in the past and it's just mentally like "hey loser give up your dick's broke internally" which sucks. I meditate and notice these thoughts but it makes me feel bad still that they hit me.

Before you guys tell me stop watching porn, do kegels, take zinc, brazil nuts, etc. I've been trying a lot of it just to see if its an erection hack to no avail. I know it's not physical even because I had a raging hard on for an hour when I woke up this morning and other days this week. Yes I watched porn in the past but haven't for probably 6 months after reading up on yourbrainonporn etc. and typically jerk off 1-2 times a week. I'm open to suggestions because I genuinely want to have awesome sex with girls I find attractive so don't think I'm trying to be a knowitall.

Tomorrow is a new day and we are meeting up again. I have a chance to take what I want. How can I conquer and kill this fear? If I don't work on this now it will keep being a problem for me. Thanks!