Having trouble with discipline

Cocopopo3 · 2018-12-19T16:11:31+00:00

Just do it , really dude what is wrong with this mind set. What kind of an answer you were expecting from this question. You get dicipline from doing things no way around!

trenrespecter · 2018-12-19T18:20:46+00:00

When i built a solid foundation to discipline i started off by stop watching porn and stop masturbating and taking 5 minute ice cold showers in the morning. When i succeded in that, stopping other bad habits was extremely easy. I stopped drinking, stopped drugs, sugar, coffee , nicotine and even biting my nails.

Dont fap or watch porn and you will get really disciplined

BluePillEltonJohn · 2018-12-19T22:03:18+00:00

U need to push yourself until it becomes a habit, find the smallest increment of the said task and do it. I.e: “I don’t wanna run but I will do it for only 5 mins” once u push through that initial resistance it becomes easier

wellhellothere45 · 2018-12-20T15:11:25+00:00

The common tropes that you'll get on this like "just do it," "you just don't want it bad enough" and so on have good intentions but are mistaken. They don't identify the actual problem, let alone actually address it.

Here's a quick heuristical model that has worked well for people in the same type of position as you. Do the following, and let me know how it works for you:

Your nervous system is freaking out when you go to do whatever it is, even something like brushing your teeth, to the point that you stay frozen in terror.
You need a better strategy for dealing with your nervous system.
Start by forming a sanctuary. For an inside area, a clean desk or work area is a good start for this. If it's indoors, it has to be somewhere as clean and organized as possible to soothe your nervous system. It can also be outdoors if you have a quiet area like a yard with trees, plants, etc. If it's outdoors, there has to be a minimal amount of noise.
The reason you need this sanctuary is that it's where your nervous system can start to assume it's safe and calm itself the fuck down, which will keep it from dropping that shitload of resistance on you as soon as you think about going to do something that you want or need to do.
Here's how you use your sanctuary to achieve this: Set a timer for five minutes in your sanctuary, and just sit and breathe. Don't dick around with your phone. Don't go check something on the Internet you thought about. Just sit and breathe. This allows your nervous system to start to reset and stop going OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK every time you think about doing something.
After your five minutes are up, pay attention to how it feels as you go brush your teeth (or something else that's relatively quick and relatively simple like picking up some trash in your bedroom and taking it to the garbage).
After you do this, bring a piece of paper and a pen to your sanctuary. Don't use your phone or computer for this. Sit for a few minutes to let your nervous system calm down more, and then write down a list of bullet points of things you want or need to do. We only want something like 3-5 things on this list, all of which would be fairly easy to do if you weren't freaking out internally and frozen without being able to get up and do them. Something like getting your shoes out of the floor and putting them where they go is a good example. Another good example would be putting a load of laundry in the washer.
Notice how much you start freaking out internally as you write this list. That's your nervous system going back into OH FUCK OH FUCK OH FUCK mode, which is the mode that drops all of that resistance on you and that keeps you from acting.
When you have your list of 3-5 simple things, set a timer in your sanctuary again for five minutes. Sit and chill the fuck out without picking up your phone or computer or a book or whatever else. When the timer goes off, go do the first thing on your list. What's important here, and I'm going to put this in bold letters because it's so critical, is not to focus on what you're doing but to instead focus on how you're feeling.
Return to your sanctuary, sit and pay attention to your nervous system freaking out, and then just sit until it calms itself down. Then go on to the next item on your list and repeat.

This that I've laid out above is an exercise for you to learn to pay attention to how you feel. You're so used to being stuck in that mental place where you can't get up to do anything (which is your nervous system being frozen in terror, literally petrified) that you don't really notice it anymore. What creating and using this sanctuary does is put you in a position where you can calm that shit down and actually feel how your nervous system's response changes.

Once you do that, let me know how it goes, and I'll give you some more of this pimpin.

Title	Having trouble with discipline
Author	wellhellothere45
Upvotes	3
Comments	5
Date	December 19, 2018 2:35 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/a7mxfq/having_trouble_with_discipline/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/having-trouble-with-discipline.71073 https://theredarchive.com/post/71073

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