Helicopter parents

effyouasshole · 2018-10-02T18:01:40+00:00

Normally, I'd say you handle this by turning down your attention to what they're doing and their communications with you. However, I assume you're financially dependent on them to pay your college tuition. In that case, you got yourself a minefield to navigate. Dialing them down too fast will result in you having to drop out of college.

Dial them down slowly. In the meantime, take control of your financial situation and make a plan for if/when shit hits the fan and they stop making payments. Figure out what loans you have, when they're paid to your college, and how much you need in order to get your degree. Figure out a realistic plan for how the loans will be re-paid after you graduate. If you find that your career path can't handle the debt you'll incur, strongly consider changing paths and/or attending a cheaper college.

Make plans for the worst.

RunawayGrain · 2018-10-02T18:34:34+00:00

As a former college admin, let me ask a few questions:

1.) Who's footing the bill? If the answer is them, you need to excise them from that, but try to avoid student loans.

2.) Are they doing the thing where they call campus security if you haven't checked in?

And a couple of observations / suggestions:

1.) One phone for the parents, one for everyone else. The one for mom and dad gets left in the dorm room until you call them.

2.) Unless somethings changed drastically, they can't get any info on you from the school unless you sign a waiver. Even then, you can revoke that at any time. Just ask the registrar. I've personally been threatened with everything from the police to lawsuits over this.

3.) Go locate some of the counselors or your advisor on campus. They've dealt with this before, and will know how to shut it down.

4.) Go lift to blow off steam.

5.) Mainly, though, reduce your reliance on them. if they aren't putting down any kind of support, it renders their complaints pretty much impotent.

CalvinRichland · 2018-10-02T18:24:55+00:00

Area you able to manage yourself?

PhilosopherDudee · 2018-10-02T18:41:32+00:00

My parents are footing the bill. I attempt to talk to them about me potentially making the payments and working to make money but they hang up when I mention it.
my parents have a copy of my schedule so they call me incessantly before every class to make sure I go. I made the mistake of telling them that I have missed a couple classes because I have slept in. I take sleep meds to help me sleep during the night but they make me sleep heavily into the morning too. This triggers them even more.
my dad showed up to my dorm room this morning, I don’t know how He got in but I’m upset over it.
my parents threaten to take me out of here but since I’ve been to this college I haven’t had a need for my anti depressants as opposed to the environment at home where I was needed to be on them.

Title	Helicopter parents
Author	PhilosopherDudee
Upvotes	2
Comments	13
Date	October 2, 2018 5:46 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9ksue3/helicopter_parents/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/helicopter-parents.134584 https://theredarchive.com/post/134584

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