This is About my insecurity 😔

I need help pls!

I wanna ask you all something... me and my gf mutually broke up ( mostly I broke up with her because I was the reason we both were suffering) this is about 2.5 years earlier , I mean I still like her and wanna get back with her but....I don’t know, sometimes it feels like she’s not the one but mostly feels like she is the one and the reason is that back then I was 14 and looked UGLY and she looked so damn cute, always loved no matter how I looked, she loved the way I talked about many things or How I had a vibe with her and now puberty hit me at 16 HARD I glowed up too but never really got the courage to call her and try to get her back as she always supported me when her friends were the problem as they were making us fight each other so we secretly broke up with each other. Then skip 1 year and she Dms me to get my number (I really was not hating because this girl always uplifted and really made me feel better whenever I was sad ) and BRO I was 16 and called from my MOTHER’s number 😞 and was nervous as hell to properly have a conversation with her. And now I’m 17 almost 18, 6 foot 2 and still become a bitch when it comes to her. It hurts man, I really miss her but mostly ignore the fact that I do, can u help pls 👏😔🥺