I have this ultra possessive streak when I'm dating a girl. Not talking about that typical beta possessiveness where I get jealous and try to hide it or something similar.

I simply think of the girl as belonging only to me, solely as an object that I possess. She is mine, and mine and must behave the way I desire. Not in a micromanaged controlling way, but by and large, I decide everything, and she must have no male friends and no impropriety or even signs of it.

At the same time I know I cannot really control them except for maybe a month or two maximum with this sort of behavior.

I also know it takes a certain hypocritical approach to keep the girl interested, so I want to keep talking to other girls and keep dread high.

But in the past, the way this has worked is that the girl has these intense months of obsession, and then can't handle it anymore. They just give up and quit after a point. Probably because I do not reward their behavior enough, but I can't tell, I'm not good at this yet.

I'm also not too much in control of my frame, quick to anger but can mostly stay rational. So there have been arguments, but it always ends with me grinding her down with logic and then a period where she feels bad and is depressed.

How do I optimize this? It is not a very good long-term solution for keeping a girl around. I do not want them feeling down and depressed all the time, but I do not trust them either and that possessiveness also gets in the way.