Catch-22.

Women respond to sexual men who move quickly. But women’s judgement (and a man’s) gets clouded after sex. Red flags don’t seem so obvious during the honeymoon phase. This means inevitably a lot of relationships that are doomed to fail are built on sex and go on way longer than they should.

BUT, if you move slowly, try to get to know someone and really evaluate if they are a good fit and worthy of your time, and hold off on sex so you and they are thinking straight, things don’t go anywhere and you’re perceived as not being attracted to them, and they’ll pair up with some idiot who fucked them on the first date.

Anyone else experience this and see a third way? In my experience women will post rationalize sex “I fucked this guy, so I must like him” even when things are shit, like after a breakup they’ll suddenly revert back to their old affectionate self, if even for a moment, after you fuck them.

In an ideal world that sexual bond would be used to strengthen the relationship between people who know clearly that they share values, have similar goals, and can efficiently work through challenges. But instead women are so desperate for connection and attention they cut to the chase and we establish that bond first only to realize that the person we’re with is a shit head.

Any thoughts? How do you date someone long enough to have a clear picture of who they are, withhold sex, and still capture their interest?