My journey went something like this: 110% loser, find TRP, improve myself, 0 experience, finally go get experience, the real world hits me for the first time, I am used to not leaving my comfort zone and things being easy, reality hits me, I freeze in key situations, such as making the close move etc, I start learning things but very slowly

1 college year: First chance to get a GF, didnt make a move. She was in my room watching netflix with me, she ghosted me.

2 college year: Same shit, this time the girl was way hotter and we dated for like 6 months after that and eventually she ghosted me. Every time I had a shot at making the close, didnt cause I am just having a extreme hard time making the closing move, im a virgin so I just cant seem to do it. I seem my friends doing beta ass cringy shit, and get laid. I have friends who are skinny af, horrible face, horrible hair, and still managed to score a 6 as a GF while im having a hard time even meeting new girls.

Its a bit like im expecting girls to fall into my lap, and when they do (those 2 experiences, which I did absolutely 0 work) I mess them up, but when it comes time to approach girls I just hamster my way out of doing it. "Message them first? TRP said to be a high value male" and so here I am crying.

I spend a few days getting better mentally, then see a couple on the street and I just start thinking of all the missed chances of losing my virginity and I get dragged back into depression.

I feel like im not good enough, im skinny, bad genetics, but I see my friends that dont know shit about gym, about dressing, about hairstyles, who dont give a flying fuck about all of this, spend their days smoking weed and cigarretes, and still get laid easily and get gfs easy.

This confuses me, a lot. Is it genetics? Am I that ugly that I just cant do it? Whats wrong? Is TRP wrong? I just cant put my hands on what to do.

I am just finishing my 2 college year, so now 3 months of summer vacations, I want to get a gym routine going, because I feel like the way I was raised, and because of my childhood im having a hard time showing myself I am worthy of being alive, and not just a burden to everyone, and that everyone just hangs out with me because they pity me. I just cant seem to change this view of how I view myself. I feel like I need to improve myself in the gym, get my body in shape to actually feel like I can make a move, because right now I cant seem to do shit.

Do any of you have any tips?