Essentially, I'm stuck in a relationship where I am trying to be alpha but end up being beta as fuck simply because the transition seems to be way too hard.

I want to know, and understand, how I keep the red pill within my system and just simply do not read and agree on trp, but remain being a beta.

I'm tired and ashamed over my excessive betaness from time to time, but I have no power so it seems to actually fully evolve. I can sit on the sub for hours and agree with people whilst laughing at betas only to realise that that's me sometimes I could have been reading about.

I'm 19, and I surely do not want to end up being a 30y old beta with no power over my life with the opposite sex. I know who I am, and I know I deserve better - I just can't take the step over to the red pill...

Please do not come here and insult, nor try to make any funny comments on me being a sub-time beta. I'm here solely for advice on how to change my mindset and not always feeling like I shouldn't transfer to trp-realm just because I'll end up hurting others.