How do I start?

Sudden-Complaint7037 · 2021-02-18T11:07:50+00:00

you could start by reading the sidebar

AshyLarry27 · 2021-02-18T14:07:53+00:00

I still have trouble actually initiating. I have the knowledge but I feel so helpless when it comes to actually doing something with it. I’m not the most social person

This is literally everyone when it comes to hitting on girls at first. To understand why, you need to realize how our brains works. We adapt to doing things and going through experiences. After the first couple of times through an experience, you start to understand how things work and "what to do better next time." While you get a some of it down at a conscious level, our subconscious brain actually ends up studying and taking in WAY MORE of the information for you.

To understand this, I like using the example of learning to drive a car since it is the most relatable one. When you first get in, you are overwhelmed by how fast you go or how quickly you stop while learning to adjust to how much pressure to apply to brake and gas pedals. You also have to account for the size of the car and how much space you have to maneuver. Just like talking to a girl, the first time behind the wheel is a very daunting and overwhelming experience because of all the foreign concepts you have to work around that you never dealt with before. As time goes by, you mentally adjust to the pedals and space around you.

So where does the subconscious mind fit in? Think about your most recent experience behind the wheel: Do you remember any of the roads you took? Do you remember consciously putting effort behind how much pressure to place on the pedals, or "almost forget" to turn on a turn signal? I would surmise "no" was you answer to the above. I bet you day dreamed or thought other things through while you "auto-piloted" to and from the destination. Are you ever amazed at how you might get lost in thought while walking somewhere and then you just "end up there" without thinking about it?

Your subconscious mind stores experiences for you to allow you to auto-pilot through life in most instances. Its your brain's way of preserving mental energy. When it comes to hitting on girls, you need to practice and do it. Understand that "making a fool of yourself" is total BS. No one ever does. Most guys look cooler just for making an attempt t hit on a girl and getting shut down than the wall flower guy at a party/club who is just looking around. When you actually go and talk to girls, your subconscious mind is already at work assessing her body language and response. This helps you in he future because your subconscious mind stores this information and responds to you at key moments. This is why guys who come off as naturals do so well, because they constantly talk to girls, so their subconscious mind gets a large does of experience to work with and help the individual come off as a natural. People are not born naturals, they just go through their actions/experiences so many times that they "come off" as a natural.

Keep talking to girls and testing out lines and concepts. Nothing we give you here is "the answer" at the end of the day. It is simply the tools and manual to things. Think of us like the "driving class" before you get in the car. Without it, you wouldn't know the first thing about driving a car. However, the driving class and written exam are not what make you a good driver. It is the actual DOING, getting behind the wheel and DRIVING, over, and over, and over again that makes you good at it. So don't worry about getting BTFO'd or all these other "rejection" horror situations because they dont actually happen. Instead appreciate the fact that with every scenario you put yourself to talk to girls, your brain is already helping you store information so that it feels more natural talking to girls each next time.

Alex6bwd · 2021-02-18T11:33:15+00:00

[deleted]

maubreetius · 2021-02-18T13:11:39+00:00

Go clubbing. Have fun. Then when you have to confidence enough start doing it. I also used to need a few drinks cough cough to get going. But you will learn and the small steps in the right direction will give you the confidence to game woman more easily.

virgilvile · 2021-02-18T14:05:54+00:00

What did it for me was reading the goodlookingloser blog, especially the "lonely saturday nights" article. I really resonated with him.

MattyAnon · 2021-02-18T16:05:56+00:00

but I still have trouble actually initiating.

Basically you have to commit to initiating regardless of the consequences. You have to do it to progress and make things happen.

Does anyone have any advice on how to stay calm and get started putting this knowledge into practice?

You don't have to stay calm...... you just have to do it.

Mostly it's about accepting all the consequences as being acceptable, and then just doing it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and you have to be ok with that.

topboyshotta · 2021-02-18T11:38:52+00:00

try xanax

Title	How do I start?
Author	Alex6bwd
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	February 18, 2021 11:03 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/lmkars/how_do_i_start/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-do-i-start.743248 https://theredarchive.com/post/743248

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