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How long to wait to text after first date?

Asktrp66 · 2020-01-06T00:52:24+00:00

I went with this cute girl and I like her. The date was only like an hour cuz my dumbass cut it short. We just kind of walked around this college town....

Asktrp66

January 6, 2020

1 upvotes

/r/askTRP

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Post Information

Title	How long to wait to text after first date?
Author	Asktrp66
Upvotes	1
Comments	19
Date	January 6, 2020 12:52 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/ekm3dw/how_long_to_wait_to_text_after_first_date/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-long-to-wait-to-text-after-first-date.304281 https://theredarchive.com/post/304281

Comments

[–]PrettyBarbiePerson5 points6 points7 points 6 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]Asktrp66-1 points0 points1 point 6 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Asktrp660 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Keeping in mind logistics (like if she wakes up at 5 on weekdays or something) I don't like weekend dates, though if she suggests it by all means. Weekends women usually have plans, and being the one to admit you don't have plans for Saturday (or just planning too far ahead) seems like you don't have anything going on or are needy. Better is sending a text on a weekday afternoon asking what she's up to that night and trying to get something going then. Putting her on the spot is better than the far out date, it gives her less time to flake, and women flake all the time and feel no guilt. If she's gonna be washing her hair all night or her bestie is in town or something, I don't even try to reschedule if she doesn't bring it up. The idea is I want her to think, "shoot, did I miss my chance?" Maybe a week later I'll try again, maybe she'll be more compliant. She might reach out before then. Some guys actually suggest shooting her down for her reschedule, but I think that's a bit far, if it's a few days away I might say "yeah I think I can do that, I'll let you know" but if a girl hits me up "I'm at the bar come out" I'm usually going to go unless it's too much trouble. I've tried the "sorry, I'm not leavin tonight" to try to get her hamster spinning but it really feels like turning down a sure thing.

What makes the text game particularly maddening is we DO actually want another date. We DO want something from her. And she can really run out the clock on testing our neediness when it's her time to respond, since we really don't know if she's testing you or she's at a wake or something. But that same mental game can work on her. Leaving it a few days can make her wonder "Did I come off weird? Does he not like me? But it's me! I had chicken salad for lunch, was there something in my teeth?" All the insecurities you have she has, plus or minus. When you do text, in her mind it's "oh, he was busy." Busy means you weren't thinking about her, you're not needy. If she liked you, she might even wonder if you are talking to another girl, if you came off as somewhat of a player, she might think you're fucking another girl! Most women don't really think of that negatively in someone they are actually interested in, they only talk shit on guys who "are players" they don't want to fuck. All of this works in your favor, appearing unavailable, less interested makes you more attractive, more of a win. There's a reason "for a limited time only!" inspires people to buy vs that everyday low price. You see how product drops with limited quantities can cause people to spend hundreds of dollars on shit like a pair of shoes? At least appear to be that limited quantity.

Now the ultimate in non-neediness is use your emotional momentum to get the ball rolling with other girls. Message a few other tinder girls. Approach that girl in the coffee shop. Build an abundance of choices. I swear women can feel it in the ether, "ah! what's that? some other snizz is interested in my prey, damn them!" Even if it doesn't work that way, if you've got backups your attempts to get a round 2 date with this girl will be much more relaxed, and you'll have a better chance of making it happen just based on that. It also serves the purpose of keeping that dreaded oneitis at bay, so you can back burner a girl for a week or two without wondering too much about what her deal is, who she's with, oh god should I text her tonight????, that kinda shit.

TLDR: Don't be too available, put her on the spot, and remember, she's not the only woman willing to go on a date with you.

[–]intl_plyrs_clb0 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Asktrp660 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]silvereddi1 point2 points3 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]muricanwerewolf10 points1 point2 points 6 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link