I have these streaks of extreme discipline where I will eat healthy, lift/stretch consistently, get good sleep, and avoid bad habits. This usually lasts about 2-3 weeks. At this point I’m feeling like a king, have lots of energy and my depression/anxiety disappears seemingly overnight. My confidence is off the charts.

Without fail, I tell myself that I can take a day or two off and I go off the rails from there. It always happens when I’m having a shitty day. I start eating like someone from My 600lb Life, staying up until 3am, being unproductive as fuck and binging Youtube videos. Not only do I fall back into bad habits, but I end up worse off than I was before. I can’t seem to curb that temptation to fall back into shitty habits when life gets difficult.

I’m in that rut now. Eating fast food almost every meal, chewing like a hillbilly, guzzling energy drinks, not exercising, you name it. My car is filled to the brim with fast food bags and energy drink cans and it disgusts me. It’s embarrasing.

Every time I try to exercise discipline I take it too far, burn out, and I’m back at square one. These binary behavior patterns are killing me. It’s either Jocko-esque discipline or quasi-junkie-level lack of self control. There’s no balance.

I can’t help but think that not everyone struggles with this at such an extreme level. Do I just have an addictive personality or something? How do I exercise discipline and make it a life-long pursuit? I can’t live this ying-yang lifestyle any longer.

Any advice or tough love you may be able to provide would be appreciated.