Sorry about the long post but could really do with some advice.

Learned about TRP a couple years but I didnt ever do anything but read posts so I effectively learned nothing. I've started to re-read the sidebar and I'm actually understanding it a lot more but my biggest problem in the past is my interaction with women and believing I am the prize.

As BP conditioning would have it, any really attractive women I would put them on pedestals and wonder why they ghosted me or just stopped responding. I know that they dont mean shit and I actually am starting to believe that. If I go on social media, I get angry seeing these thots parade around for attention - whether its girls I know in person, or girls I follow on IG. Some of these girls I know literally disgust me when they post these photos because I know its for validation, whats worse is seeing all the thirsty guys comment on it and knowing I used to be like that. I despise these men and despise the fact that I was one. I was a fucking BP loser but somehow I managed to pull some decent looking girls and dated a few. Looking back, I would say I was more RP towards the fatties who loved that shit - I dont know whether to chalk it up to be having a higher SMV or the fact that I unintentionally did the right things by genuienly not caring about the interaction. A lot of the girls I've been with were from Tinder/Online - I've maybe picked up a few times in person.

That is something I want to change. My problem is my confidence around women and even men. Around crowds of people I get really quiet and become real introverted, I was constantly worried what women think of me and would try wayyyyyyyyy too hard. Even in school, I was always really shy and quiet, I would hardly ever talk to girls first. I get really uncomfortable around guys I dont know, I dont even know why.

Since lockdown, I have read TRM, The Slight Edge, Mystery Method, NMMNG (Re-reading this) and I've got a heap of other books lined up. I'd go as far as saying I'm a decent looking guy, roughly 12-13% bf, have a great job, live in my own apartment in a really good area which happens to have a lot of Hb7s+. I always thought down on myself because I'm 5'6 and not white (I'm basically a curry muncher - not Indian or Paki, but more or less very similar culturally to them). I've started listening to Rollos TRP 101 videos and he said something about being shorter will work against you, but it just means you need to be even better at another trait/skill/whatever - ok I can deal with that.

I've started reflecting and have made some significant changes to better myself - For the last 10 years I was more or less stoned 24/7. I spent my teens and early 20's smoking weed non-stop and I think it really fucked my headspace, confidence and just made me really question myself. I quit 10 days ago - and since quitting the change in my attitude is huge, I am doing so many things now, I feel fucking awesome and want to keep the ball rolling.

I know I need to approach women, I know I need to get comfortable being rejected and set my ego aside. I set a goal to talk to one new person each day - man, woman - whatever. I plan on starting with a hi to anyone I walk by and in a week want to try and 1-up and keep building that momentum.

Any suggestions on not feeling like a fucking creepy cunt approaching random people and starting a conversation? The thought of doing that makes me feel so uncomfortable.