How to stop being self conscious

healthyteacher4 · 2018-08-18T23:28:12+00:00

First of all, think about how we view women. Sure we all want a pretty face, but if she has a good personality, has good tits and dresses well... it all averages out. So if you're not stunning to look at in the face, make up for it elsewhere. I know my face is not good looking by typical American male standards. But I make up for it by dressing myself well. Having a unique style. It might help you to look up the word 'Handsome.' All it means is 'well put together.' A guy who has five really good outfits to cycle through can do better than someone who was born with a cute face. A good dresser proves he is a man of effort.

And stop looking in the mirror all the time, bro. That's chick shit.

red_philosopher · 2018-08-18T23:28:43+00:00

It's not the things that happen that hurt us, it's what we think about them that makes it so.

This is a butchered paraphrase quote, but it gets the point across. You are scared of something because you think negative things about it. When you see a pretty girl you want on your dick, what's the first thought that pops into your head? I guarantee it is something along these lines:

"I'm going to get laughed at."
"She's going to reject me, and everyone's going to see it."
"I'm too much of a loser. She'd never want me."

When you look in the mirror, you think these things. You think you are worthless, you think you are a neckbearded incel. These are all cognitive distortions that we tell ourselves to avoid the pain of growth and change. If it is true, then you know you can change it. At the end of the day, you have only yourself to hold to account.

Second, you are putting your value as a man in the words of others. You do not need those words. You need to place value in yourself. Confident men look at themselves in the mirror, see the results of their efforts, and think, "Hot fucking damn I look good." Women can't take that away from you. Nobody can.

Appex1 · 2018-08-18T23:30:26+00:00

It comes from years of betadom and maybe even bullying. It's your ego(identity) that tells you what you are and what you can and can't do. Your ego is that little speaker in your head. If you for years have lived like feeling "below" other people and especially if you've been told certain stuff, it has become a part of your ego. You should seriously read the book "The power of now" by Eckhart Tolle. It describes the nature of the ego and how you can overcome it by meditating. Just do a good session of mindfulness for 15 minutes and you will see how much at ease you will feel.

Once you start getting swole, fucking chicks and getting external validation, you will discover that it has been your ego all the time since you started being self conscious.

room_303 · 2018-08-19T03:39:13+00:00

Go no contact on the mirror.

friendandadvisor · 2018-08-22T01:59:14+00:00

A. Stop asking your friends immediately. They do not want to be bothered with your self doubts. Believe me. They will drop you ASAP and then you will be even more self conscious.

B. If you are average, AND you are lifting, you are ahead of most people.

Title	How to stop being self conscious
Author	mike21p
Upvotes	5
Comments	7
Date	August 18, 2018 11:18 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/98fuoz/how_to_stop_being_self_conscious/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stop-being-self-conscious.130638 https://theredarchive.com/post/130638

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