How to stop failures from getting to you?

Wabbajak · 2018-06-14T10:38:03+00:00

Suffering is always seen as this definition of evil, something that must be minimized or even prevented at all costs. But people always forget that suffering is the price to pay for accomplishing and learning new things. Realize that the thing itself does not do harm to yourself, but your interpretation of it harms you. The thing itself and your evaluation of the thing are two different things. You may not be able to change the thing, since this may not be in your power, but you have the ability to accept or reject the interpretation and re-evaluate. Then you can act accordingly.

Suppose a girl rejected you and you think the world is going to end. Or you failed a test at university and now you are unsure about your educational future. You know deep down that your impressions about bad things are bullshit and thinking too much about them will lead you nowhere and make you depressed, grievous, anxious. Yes, your future might really be ruined, or you really liked this girl.

But the only thing that happened is that you are now a little bit wiser and you have taken another hurdle. Instead of over analyzing what you cannot control, the thing that happened, concentrate on what you can control: your decisions and actions in the here and now. Act accordingly. Learn harder and try better next time. Never stop approaching girls.

Realize this and you will see that an obstacle does not stand in the way but is the only way to make progress.

Master the things you can control. All things that you cannot control are amusing at best. Some people call this amused mastery.

AloofusMaximus · 2018-06-14T11:02:29+00:00

So the biggest thing with failure is being able to learn from it. Why did it happen? What would you be able to do differently that would result in it being successful?

Without failure, there's no REAL growth. Sometimes those reasons are beyond our control, and sometimes they're not.

LogicalWinner · 2018-06-14T13:07:58+00:00

Being dogshit bad at something is the beginning of being really good at something. Suck it up, buttercup.

dulkemaru51 · 2018-06-14T20:34:31+00:00

Realize that the nature of reality is beyond your control. Your fate is sealed, you have no real say in what you are. There is nothing you can do about your ugly appearance or small brain. Accept the world for what it is and try to do the best with what is... not that your choices are anything but illusions, but you get what I am saying. Deeply realizing this justifies all of your failures, it does not excuse laziness and you will still regret in on your deathbed, but it is a very freeing thing to have click in your head, because it is true.
Understand that your mindset and emotional state are everything. Failure makes intrusive thought patterns cloud your consciousness that in turn make chemicals shoot through your body that you interpret as negative feelings. You feel stress, anxiety, irritation, sadness and a total loss of focus. Signals in and chemicals ordered by your brain, that is all it is:

Work out, meditate, force your focus on things that you are supposed to do and away from a negative headspace. Experience failure and say fuck it, Do Not Think About It. There is no secret, you already know what the deal is. And always remember that you truly have no control, it is the ultimate liberation.

RPLawyer · 2018-06-14T12:37:36+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4rqg37/there_is_nothing_i_can_say_to_you_that_will/

Title	How to stop failures from getting to you?
Author	Killing__Time_
Upvotes	6
Comments	7
Date	June 14, 2018 9:36 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/8r0iiw/how_to_stop_failures_from_getting_to_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-stop-failures-from-getting-to-you.100034 https://theredarchive.com/post/100034

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