How to turn someone down without hurting them

NahDudeFkThat · 2014-02-11T08:43:52+00:00

I set up a date with a cute girl I met on Tinder.

Major red flag on a girl right off the bat.

when her clothes comes off it appeared that she is fairly chubby. Not extreme by any measure, but enough to kill my attraction. I don't blame her for that,

It is 100% her fault that she is unattractively overweight. Or more accurately, it's feminism's fault as much as her own shitty lifestyle choices, but you get the point.

If you do like her due to her feminine personality, then you need to create the frame in which you get her to exercise and eat healthy. Hold that shit. You are the Oak Tree, she the squirrel. Be that father figure. Assertive and strict.

Her body will be on point in probably 2 months (following a decent diet and the 5x5 stronglifts program), and then she can start pleasing you sexually.

I'm about to cancel on her. How can I do that while:

a) Not lying

b) Not hurting her more than absolutely unnecessarily

c) Avoiding dishonesty

You're getting way too attached dude. Besides, any emotional impact on her is a good emotional impact on her. Hit her with something like "I am accustomed to healthy women with nice bodies that arouse me with no problem. If you want to be one of these women, you need to start eating healthier and doing some real work in the gym."

If she likes you enough, she will change ASAP, assuming you've followed the code of seduction properly. She might even invite for you to put her under your wing and guide her (bam, you guys get to hang out + some quality bonding time as well.) If she doesn't do this or gives you shit for "not lieking me just teh way I amz," you next the bitch and go enjoy the company of your other plates (which you should have BTW - if you don't, work ASAP on building your harem.)

I cannot stress the importance of building a solid harem so that these dilemmas don't arise in the future.

bankruptedcasino · 2014-02-11T15:53:12+00:00

I really don't understand why you didn't just tell her the day of the date that you forgot your friend was coming in to town and that you wouldn't be able to make it, or that you got called in to work and would be there all weekend, or that your dog was throwing up and you had to take him to the vet, or that your car had a flat tire, or that you weren't feeling well and you might have the flu, etc.

Basically, I don't understand why you didn't just give her some flimsy excuse that girls give you when they're flaking on you. Girls speak girl. She would have known what you were doing because she does it to tons of guys.

I regret that I don't feel the sexual chemistry I need for dating.

You wanted to let her down without hurting her? You basically told her she was fat and ugly, having the exact opposite response of what you were intending to accomplish.

radicaIcentrist · 2014-02-11T16:23:51+00:00

What you wrote was shitty.

I would have written: "I really liked hanging out with you and we can still be friends but to be perfectly honest your body in its current form isn't what I'm looking for. If you can get into shape I might reconsider. I would even be open to helping you reach that goal. But in your present state I just don't have that level of attraction to you. I hope you're not offended at my words but this is how I feel."

You gotta leave the door open for if she gets hotter in the future. Some of the hottest girls I know are former fatties. You shut that door, deadbolted it and then welded it shut.

Granted there are some girls who take this stuff poorly no matter how much you sugarcoat it. Others will be eager to please.

Title	How to turn someone down without hurting them
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	2
Comments	3
Date	February 11, 2014 7:33 AM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/1xlhrk/how_to_turn_someone_down_without_hurting_them/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/how-to-turn-someone-down-without-hurting-them.171419 https://theredarchive.com/post/171419

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