I hate going on dates, anyone else? (21M)

KumonRoguing · 2018-10-30T14:01:03+00:00

Do you wanna go to that new laser mini golf place? Ask that slut from your math class to go. Do shit you wanna do, and if a woman wants to come have her come. The secret is to do shit you wanna do so even if she sucks you have fun.

Quaternionz · 2018-10-30T18:27:09+00:00

Oh, boo hoo, 30 minutes, cry me a river. That’s a totally normal travel time for a date. It can take that long to get from one part of NYC to another, and that’s within the same city.

I see where you’re coming from in your main point though. Yes, if you approach dating like that then it’ll be boring.

The trick is to have interesting plans for the night that you’d enjoy just for your own sake, and then have her come along for the ride.

My own version of this is my usual weekend bar hopping routine. I’ll go play pool at a bar in a cool neighborhood and socialize with strangers. Half way through the night my friends will hit me up and I’ll hop over to go drink with them instead. If nobody out is out then I’ll go to a classy rooftop bar where I’ll have some scotch, enjoy the view, and chat with all the fancy people.

When I have a date I just take her with me on one of these bar hopping adventures. I’ll start the night by buying her dinner first to make sure we’re not interrupted by hunger later, but the relatively brief dinner part is the only stereotypically “date-y” thing about the night.

After dinner I’ll move it to a pool bar and play some pool. I won’t try to include her I the pool games. Most women hate playing pool anyway. I’ll just play with the dudes who are there, and she’ll sip her cocktail and watch. It’ll talk to her between shots, and also socialize with the dudes who I’m playing with. Girls enjoy the more chill social vibe where you’re socializing with bystanders as well, and not focusing 100% on her. It’s also a good way for her to confirm that you have social skills in general, which is a big attraction factor for women. Bonus points if you consistently win your pool games while she watches.

Once you get bored of that location you can hop over to somewhere where you’re a regular and people know you, or where you have friends hanging out. Hang out with your friends for a bit and don’t feel bad about focusing on your interactions with them while she just observes. Obviously don’t straight up ditch her or exclude her from a conversation for 40 straight minutes, but taking 3-4 minutes to catch up with some dude you’re acquaintances with is fine (probably even more than fine for the social proof).

Or take her to the rooftop bar, which you’d be going to anyway. Girls love rooftop bars.

A lot of the time the girl will be so enamored with you and the adventure you’re giving her that she’ll spontaneously start doing massive amounts of very obvious kino on you, and then it’s very natural to slip into making out, or to invite her back home if it’s not too late and you’re not both too drunk.

When I was 21 I stumbled upon this tactic by accident. I was obsessively studying a certain subject, so once in a while I’d take a trip into the city to buy some textbooks and treat myself to a ritual dinner at a fancy restaurant I knew, as a kind of reward to myself for buying extra textbooks and being a good student.

One day I was chatting after class with a very cool HB8 who was way out of my league. To end the conversation I told her “Well, I have to go, I’m going to go take a trip to the city to go book hunting. You can come with me if you want though.” She hesitated for a moment. I said “Don’t worry about it, I’m going either way. Do what you want, lol.” She did end up coming, and it was a solid date. I was just taking stabs in the dark back then and had no game at all, but I was able identify the “trick” that got her to come, and I’ve been using it ever since.

Go out for your own sake, take the girl along with you.

This also insulates you from flakes really well. If the girl flakes then whatever, she was just an addition to your night out, not the main point of it. When she tells you that she can’t come because her pet hamster Mr. Fuzzles needs emergency open heart surgery you can just say “No worries, good luck” and be in your merry way out alone. A lot of times chicks have semi-legitimate reasons for flaking, like if they’re on 4 hours of sleep and just don’t feel like it, or if they have a close friend who suddenly needs their attention more that day. They’ll cancel without giving a reason or rescheduling because they know their reason is lame and feel guilty. But if you give 0 fucks over SMS and then hit her up 2-3 weeks later then she might be down again.

Again, in summary: Go out for your own sake, take the girl along with you.

christophertracy92 · 2018-10-30T13:15:50+00:00

Yeah I can align with that feeling.

I have had my share of dates which were mostly successful.The thing is, after having red pill awareness and not being a Beta, I genuinely don't give a damn anymore about listening to every bullshit a girl has to say.

You know not to take what they say seriously, you know that they are full of themselves and you know that they are shit testing you to compare your value to their orbiters.

You know that at the right time with the right person every girl will act like a slut. So if there are no quality girls , why bother investing time?

I don't give a fuck about her life, her daddy issues and her best friends that she always judges behind her back .

AWALT

krumpykindu · 2018-10-30T11:14:33+00:00

Closing off the idea of dates altogether closes doors to most women. Be the one to invite them out even when you don’t want to.. it forces you to commit anyway and puts you out of your comfort zone in a healthy way.

neoda1 · 2018-10-30T13:18:55+00:00

so you want to be single your whole life?

Title	I hate going on dates, anyone else? (21M)
Author	koedeloe
Upvotes	1
Comments	7
Date	October 30, 2018 11:12 AM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/9smus2/i_hate_going_on_dates_anyone_else_21m/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-hate-going-on-dates-anyone-else-21m.136128 https://theredarchive.com/post/136128

Comments