Earlier this year I was getting laid. A lot. My confidence was at an all time high. I was following red pill and was getting laid with all the hot chicks at school. Then I got diagnosed with ADD. That's not the issue, what the issue was is that the medicine fucked with my brain and my appetite. I was really fit. Then I started the medicine. I couldn't gain anymore weight because I couldn't eat anymore. Eventually I wanted to start working out again over the summer while I was away from school. I made a strict program and told myself to start following it. The first day, I started biking as my cardio to the gym. I felt great. Then I got hit by a fucking car on the way there. It fortunately only broke my elbow. Despite this, I kept biking with my cast 2 weeks after the incident. But obviously I couldn't lift with this shit on. Once I got back to school, I had to start taking higher dose of the shitty medicine that is Vyvanse. I have no control over it because my mom makes me take that shit. It made me look like a nervous fucking wreck at the school and I was no longer getting laid. I started talking fast. I developed what look like a nervous tick. I couldn't focus on conversations and I couldn't go a conversation without forgetting what I was saying. I hate it. But my mom keeps me on it. After the first 4 weeks of school I did something that I hadn't done in a year: Jack off. I was so sexually frustrated that I started again. This leads me to where I am now. I'm not interesting in conversations and am not confident enough for girls. I'm plenty self confident in the fact I know that even without my muscle I still look hot, but no longer have the confidence to talk to women mkre than a friendly chat or the confidence in myself. I've found myself forgetting red pill ideas because of the stress of school. Then this week I did the worst thing of all. I was so fucking stressed and sexually frustrated that I sucked my own dick. I fucking hate myself for it. It's been going on for the past few days and now I'm in the shower crying while writing this. I hate my lack of control of the situation and I hate myself for sucking my own dick. What the fuck happened to me