I keep thinking getting laid and being a professional is impossible for me.

dabrah1 · 2016-05-23T01:28:04+00:00

Why are you switching schools so much? Once you make a decision, stick with it.

TomFoo · 2016-05-23T02:12:54+00:00

I'm 35 years old. If someone offered me to be 19 again and threw in a cool million dollars, I would say no. Being young is not easy and I don't envy your position. But with the right attitude and a boatload of discipline, you can transform yourself into a fucking king. You'll be a man amongst boys.

I've transfered schools 2 times and was planning on doing it again

I myself took a decade to finish college and earn my bachelor's. Switched my major a few times, had some financial struggles, but overall the main problem was I simply didn't know what I wanted to do. Point is to just get your damn bachelor's. If you're lagging in engineering, than take a deep breath and brutally critique yourself. You're probably not disciplined enough to finish a degree in something tough like engineering. Even if you do get a degree in engr, if you have a low GPA, the job market may be harsh on you. Consider a major in something less demanding.

Also I keep improving.

Good stuff. Remember to congratulate yourself regularly. Literally say it aloud, "Good job, ____(your name)." Sounds silly but it may help you with your self-esteem. I have problems with anxiety when it comes to dealing with clients. But yesterday was a not-so-little victory for me. There's been a problem and the Big Swinging Dick whom I rarely hear from stepped in and emailed me. Before I let the anxiety take over, I quickly typed an email explaining the situation. He was satisfied with my response. Last night and this morning I've been congratulating myself aloud, "Good job, Tom!" Again, it feels silly but it helps.

Another thing is I am sketchy/weary of people and people's intentions towards me.

Dude, this attitude is cancerous. This is the opposite of "To the pure, all things are pure." Sure, be smart, be aware, maybe even a little critical, but don't have an overall "what's this guy want from me" paradigm. I have a few friends like that, and they get into altercations, carry unnecessary grudges, and regularly miss opportunities. I think it comes down to ego. Everyone isn't out there to get you. The world doesn't revolve around you. They probably don't even think much about you. And that is okay, because you are your own man. Self-validation is everything.

Not getting laid or having intimacy is really hurting me though.

I know what that's like. I lost my virginity late in life. A couple of years before I lost my v-card, I made a firm commitment with myself to change my life socially. I went to every party I was invited to, constantly made new friends, tried new activities, made effort to hang out with new friends. Once or twice every summer I threw a big house party complete with barbecue and drinks. It was nerve-wrecking but a social (and thus, internal) adrenaline rush. That helped me to meet girls, go on dates, and so on. Sex may simply be a side effect of being socially active.

Here's a few things I would tell my 19 year old self.

Read a lot. Pick up books about stuff you may not be interested in. If you're not enjoying a book after reading the first 10% of it, drop it and pick up another one. Try audiobooks like on Audible.
Journal. Write down your thoughts. Surprising what your mind comes up with when you start putting words on paper.
Meet a lot of people. Guy or girl, if you think someone is even remotely cool, ask them to meet you over a drink. It's just simply hanging out, that's all, no big deal. You'll probably get ignored/rejected often, but that's how it is, shrug it off.
Hang out with confident people regularly. Not cocky losers.
Do something fun, challenging and memorable for yourself. Years ago I once drove across the country by myself. It's still my most satisfying travel experience.

Good hunting, bro. Give us an update a year or two from now.

*Edited for grammar.

MattyAnon · 2016-05-23T01:43:37+00:00

I've transfered schools 2 times

At some point you have to finish so you can get on with the next thing. A big change like this steps you back. Finish something.

.I typed this real fast since I am about to hit the gym lol.

See above about "finish something".

You sound a bit ADHD. Learn to focus and get shit finished.

I use tinder and get lots of responses but I never truly believe that Ill get anything out of it.

Well this is hard. The usual solution is "fake it till you make it". It's hard for men because our SMV starts out rock bottom and we have to build ourselves. Noone does it for us. And usually we end up feeling we're not enough because we work on ourselves.

As far as women are concerned, you certainly can "fake it till you make it".

But most importantly, you need to get on your life path. Find Your Mission. Do It Relentlessly. This will build your confidence and your self esteem and stop you feeling worthless.

Title	I keep thinking getting laid and being a professional is impossible for me.
Author	Rpthrowo
Upvotes	0
Comments	8
Date	May 23, 2016 12:00 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/askTRP
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/asktrp/comments/4kl8g0/i_keep_thinking_getting_laid_and_being_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/askTRP/i-keep-thinking-getting-laid-and-being-a.105831 https://theredarchive.com/post/105831

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