18 yrs old. 6ft2 skinny. Been on rp knowledge for 2 years. Used to be popular had a great life. Loved every aspect of life, loved the grind, was very grateful for life. I was self-actualised on maslows hierarchy of needs. I then got sectioned and lost everything.

I lost my job, friends, social skills, and drive. I’m now a recluse. My thoughts hate who I’ve become. I’m also stuck in the dreamy days of the perfect past. I’m riddled with anxiety and depression. I’m typical beta male, I get jealous of those who appear to have better life than me because I feel I deserve that life. Because of my high past, I have become very entitled. A parasite. I hate being an arrogant, entitled piece of shit, it’s not who I am. I am filled with ego and don’t like meeting new people as I hate who I am presenting to the world.

I’m currently in the gym every 4 times a week for about 3 weeks now. I hate going. I’m tall but I feel small.

I just want to be grateful for life like I used to and be able to walk with joy. I live in a dark, grey world currently. I don’t knows what I’m looking for.. probs some attention. Help..