I'm in my early 20s and fairly successfully compared to my peers (founder of a startup you've probably heard of if you're in SV), 6"4 and in the looks department, I don't really know, I've never really cared to ask. I've had women hit on me but I never returned it at the time due to work.

I engage in a lot of activities such as skiing, gliding, skydiving, kayaking, mainly for self development, I get a lot of matches on tinder, but I slowly started to notice a trend in my dates. Every single one of the women on there liked me for what I could offer them, I don't even think they realize their doing it. I didn't realize it until today, this girl who I was speaking to suddenly changed her attitude (more upbeat, cheerful) when I recommended going to a restaurant in the city. She didn't have this energy prior to it.

Another girl flakes on coming over to hangout with me today, but her energy is always different when it comes to me spending money on doing something fun. It's a horrible feeling. I've been following redpill for a while, but refused to fully practice it, some part of me didn't want to believe it, but I guess in the end it's right.

I'm not even angry, I just feel empty, and stopped caring about women in general. I feel like my mind is clear.

I'll start lifting and put more focus into my startup, we have to close a round of funding soon, so my energy is better spent there. Once that's done, I'll have to hit the sidebar.

As for why I've written this,

It's just to keep track of my thoughts and progression..