Hey guys, so i've been following trp for almost half a year now. When I found trp I was thinking to "myself I found the cheat codes to being happy and getting all the pussy I wanted", boy was I in for a treat. I never got laid, never got a real gf, never kissed a girl, never had a social life. I spent my middle school and high school years not talking to anyone besides a few very close friends and going home playing video games. I got really fat until december last year where I decied enough was enough and that I was missing out on life, so then I found TRP, joined a gym and was beginning to change my life. Then I got into college and was thinking "now im going to get some pussy for sure and build my life at the same time!". Ive been in college for 4 weeks now, and I feel like shit. I still feel like everyone walks over me, I lose the little confidence I have day by day, I see not much gains from going to the gym, I still feel like im the ugliest motherfucker who ever lived when I check myself over on the mirror. I really want to change this, I really do but I just dont undertand. I check trp here and there now and I get really pumped but when I wake up I just feel weird, I feel like everyone in my course knows each other perfectly and are leaving me out. I feel like I just keep losing my chances, like: I teased this girl from my class a lot to the point where we have inside jokes but now after 2 weeks she just seems like she is ignoring me and doesnt care anymore and everyday I hit myself saying "oh that chat you had with her was so blue pill" "oh, you should have made clear your intentions", and this just repeats itself over and over for every single girl I chat with. I really dont know where to go from here, when im home I feel like this shit is easy and I can do it no problem but on the field I just act like a full on beta and I cant even get friendzoned, just ignored. While I lost a lot of weight from joining the gym and changing my life a bit, I just still feel like everyone around me is getting pussy and having fun while im here not even managing to get the hb4 that nobody cares about. I read "be an asshole" so I tried to be a total asshole but it just seems that I teased so hard but so damn hard without showing signs that I wanted something sexual or more than friends that, im just getting extremely confused at life and really dont know what to do. Keep hitting the gym? Be more confident? I just dont know... Typing this I can see what a pussy I am being but I really needed to vent this out. I just dont know what to do, I feel like im missing a lot of opportunities by not showing my intention but instead showing some random nice beta actions and hoping that she somehow guesses that I want to fuck her until she blacks out. I really need some guidance here, while I have improved my life, I still am losing a lot and dont know what to do...

edit: holy shit this became a extremely long post, if anyone actually read my diary entry: thanks.