I'm a 28M who recently took the RP about three months ago. I wanted to get help from you guys on improving my inner game, my frame, and self confidence.

I realize obtaining these things first and foremost was most important — not giving a shit about anything will follow, then finally getting women. I would say that I was much more BP my whole life with hints of RP here and there, but for the most part, I was definitely an orbiting nice guy waiting for my chance, waiting for some chick to notice how nice I am and all that bull shit. One of the posts on TRP talked about how being nice doesn't get you anywhere in life — only what you provide to the world matters. They pointed out the Glengarry Glen Ross scene with Alec Baldwin and it is intense. But it is proof in this life being nice doesn't get you shit. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kZg_ALxEz0

I've been slowly reading the required text and some other helpful suggested reading materials that I've found while reading different posts and comments. So far I have partially read Bang, Day Bang, The Virtue of Selfishness, 48 Laws of Power, The Manipulated Man, and Sexual Body Language. I just recently ordered Rules of the Game, 9 laws of Attractive Body Language, and No Mr Nice Guy. I also regularly check the art of manliness and other blogs on fashion, dressing better, posture, confidence and such.

In the past three months I've recently lost 60+ pounds but I'd like to drop more until I'm ultimately weighing in at a lean and cut up 175-185lbs (not for women but for myself and my long term health — women liking my physical aesthetics is secondary). I'm 5'11" and I have a pretty decent career as a graphic designer. On the side I digitally paint, draw, write & read poetry, write music, and digitally produce music. I also play basketball recreationally and I'm looking to get into a serious gym routine to help with my goal. I would also like to join an MMA gym or Mauy Thai Boxing.

I've taken seriously to improving myself on every level physically, mentally, and so forth because my self confidence was terrible. I always felt short, mostly because my friends were all basketball rats and me being the shortest. However, now I'm realizing I'm not that short. At 5'11" (an average or slightly above average height) I'm feeling taller and much more confident. It was recently that I realized my inner feelings and subconscious criticisms about being short, obese, or ugly came off as unconfident, which affected my body language, it affected my physical presence and looking a woman in the eye. I was unable to speak to a woman giving off cues to her displaying that I'm the one on the pedestal.

I'm also realizing that women and men alike are hardwired a certain way but that doesn't mean that we are incapable of being emotional or women are incapable of being logical. It's just that subconsciously there are attractive qualities that we put out there that are better than others. I'm a decent looking guy but still obese weighing in the 280s and I've gotten two dates so far. I haven't done that in a while, but I was unable to close — why — because I'm still unconfident in my physical appearance. Once it starts getting physical I'm the one who starts thinking about being over weight and so forth. I'm the one that clams up.

How am I supposed to close when I don't feel comfortable? Will I ever? I see people or read about people who lose tons of weight but still feel like that fat kid. How can I fix these self deprecating qualities? I know I have a lot to offer, besides just being nice. I'm talented as hell, I have a great job, I have people who sought me out for jobs, I have a lot of potential — I just need to keep working out until I feel attractive. I just don't know if I believe it. I think there is a difference with feeling better about myself versus believing that I'm a physical fuckin specimen that should be immortalized in marble like the Statue of David.