I started a committed LTR earlier this year, before swallowing the pill. I made some mistakes early on, like asking her n-count. I'm newly divorced with a lower n-count than hers. I caught oneitis early and didn't date around. Now that I've found TRP, I'm reading everything I can my hands on. However, I continue to feel insecure about the lop-sided n-count.

I'm finding myself tempted to cheat just to raise my number, thinking it will ease my insecurity, but I feel like that would be wrong. Since all of my friends and family are beta, I need some TRP wisdom.