Hello,

This isn't about girls, more about my general "feeling".

I've tried to talk to my parents and brother, even one of my friends but I feel no one understands me, it's difficult for me to communicate across how I feel and people keep throwing depression and anxiety around and to be honest I don't feel those are applicable.

From my own perspective, I feel rather empty. Even when I go to the gym, achieve something (I'm currently working on a website, so if I solve a difficult issue), or end up smashing a good looking girl.

I never feel a sense of accomplishment, happiness, or connection with other people - which affects friendships, networking and obviously game.

I sort of just do what I need to do, whether I like it or not. I feel my life is a grind, not whatever it's meant to be if that makes sense.

I don't know if things have got messed up along the way, it's a pretty long story and not that interesting but in the span of secondry school I use to get excluded, "soft nexted" if you will by everyone in my year, my dad use to hit me for no reason (if it was for discipline I would understand). I use to get hit a lot, kneed in the bottom of my spine so I couldn't walk straight, all with my brother watching and not doing anything. I ended up making a few friends outside of school, and made one best friend with a girl in my school, which progressed to an LTR only for her to cheat on me with my best friend and lie to me for a year.

I personally feel this has forced me to be on my own, I did end up smoking a lot of weed too.

At the end of this, I feel like I can't trust anyone around me, and with the absense of positive emotions I'm not sure where to start with all of this... I'm currently 20 if that makes any difference.

I do lift, and I am starting my own business, I do have money, but how do I feel content? I really feel like there's no objective, no motivation to do anything. It's started to make me question myself as being the issue, as not every single person I know should not want to speak to me?